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Good Morning, Clean Sad Jake Gyllenhaal

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Only someone who's studied the nudity of Jake Gyllenhaal so closely that they could teach a college course titled "The Nudity of Jake Gyllenhaal 101" would probably have noticed this but the dude is always having some sort of half-naked breakdown or half-naked capital-F Feelings in the bathroom. There are two count 'em two shots of just that in the trailer for Nocturnal Animals alone...

... which I just finally got around to watching in its entirety this morning. (I know, I know, I am so so far behind.) But if we look back at Jake over the years there are similar moments in Southpaw...

... and in Demolition...

... and a goofy one in Love or Other Drugs...

... and a semi-clothed one in Rendition...

... and back to naked-shower-time with Jarhead...

... and I think washing himself beside 
the stream in Brokeback Mountain probably counts...

Why do we insist that Jake Gyllenhaal be so clean? So clean and so, so sad? Anyway it's just a thing I noticed -- maybe Jake likes showering in front of an audience and he either chooses scripts based on those scenes being included or it's written into his contract that he must have at least one bathroom breakdown. I don't know. I don't mind either. Keep fucking that chicken, Jake, and I will keep coming for it. And here's that Nocturnal Animals trailer, in case you're as behind as me:
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