Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

Gilbert: Every theatrical performance 

is a contrivance by its very nature. 

Sullivan: Yes, but this piece consists entirely 

of an artificial and implausible situation. 

Gilbert: If you wish to write a Grand Opera 

about a prostitute, dying of consumption in a garret, 

I suggest you contact Mr Ibsen in Oslo. 

I am sure he will be able to furnish you 

with something suitably dull.