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What movie is this?
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Five Frames From ?
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...
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Knightriders (1981)
Merlin: If I didn't believe in magic, I'd still be treating gall bladders, prostates and stuff like that. See, magic ain't got nothing to do with organs and glands and busted necks. Magic got to do with the soul, man. Only the soul's got destiny. It got wings. It's can fly. That's magic. The body? The body's just got a few minutes down here in the dirt with the rest of us.Billy: You see things before they happen.Merlin: That's probability. Some things is just sure to happen.Seeing em comin' ain't nothing to get excited about.Billy: No, you taught me too good, magician.You taught me to believe. That black bird's gonna get me.
A very happy 76th birthday to Uncle George Romero today!
For more of this film (cough naked Ed Harris cough) click here.
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Thursday's Ways Not To Die
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Burn After Reading (2008)
This is the exact wrong way to deal with finding Brad Pitt in your closet! For god's sake, hasn't George Clooney ever seen Blue Velvet??? Do as Isabella Rossellini do, man!
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("Do as Isabella Rossellini do" is a great life lesson, by the way.) Anyway Brad Pitt has had his pretty head torn to shreds by several esteemed film-makers over the years (and we've covered that fact several times - see here and here for just a couple of examples) but nobody's managed to make said ruination-of-true-beauty quite so knee-slapping high-sterical as the Coens did, god love 'em. That's skill, mad skill.
I very much need to re-watch this movie; I remember liking it more than many people seemed to at the time (Brad Pitt excepted - everybody me included thought he was great and clearly he was) but I haven't seen it since, and what with my recent re-evaluation of Inside Llewyn Davis proving a surprise (suddenly I liked it) who knows where I'll stand? It's a thrill!
We are of obviously in a thick fog of Coens on the brain these days what with their new film Hail Caesar!hitting screens tomorrow, about which we have heard very good things and which we are feeling quite optimistic. And I've avoided watching any more because at this point I'm waiting to see the movie proper, but I guess they did go ahead and put most of Channing Tatum's sailor dance online, so if you wanna watch that go here and here. As for links to all of the previous Ways Not To Die, hit the jump...
Previous Ways Not To Die: Precious Miseries -- A Triple Salchow Before Dying --Night Nurse -- Don't Be Greedo-- The Hand That Rocks The Greenhouse -- Jacked Up -- The Big Squeeze -- Say My Name -- Silver Shamrock -- As The Wine Turns -- sleepytime -- Eat Crow -- An Un Made Man -- Bear Topped-- When Your Hoop Dreams Become Your Hoop Nightmares -- Ungodly Grabbers -- Head Today Gone Tomorrow -- Something... Happened -- Phone Jacked-- Poker Face -- Not Ready For This Jelly -- World's Greatest DEAD -- Swiss Miss Meteor Strike -- The Whim of a Mads Man -- Big Wheeled -- Deep Red -- Bunny Petit -- Ding Dong Going Down -- The Headless Hitchcock -- Oops I Dropped The Soap -- Mary had A Little Slam -- The Beast With Too Backstabbed -- Wrath of the Merman -- Stomach Bug -- Something Icky This Way Comes -- Dagon It -- The Passion of Margaret White-- Worm Food -- Kim Jong Kill -- Harkonnen A Vagrant -- A Little Off The Top -- Laid Out By Lamas -- 1 2 3 Dandy -- One Ringy-Dingy Two Ringy-Dingy Die Ringy-Dingy -- Nanny Slam -- Forced Head -- A Wolf at the Door -- X-Ray'd -- Helen Helen Helen -- Bad Robot -- Giggle Gassed --Dark Meet -- The Lady in the Iron Mask -- Croaked -- Exit Stage Crazy -- Cold Cocked By Colin Farrell-- Comb Over -- Wishing You Happy Father's Day -- Bright Light Bright Light -- Flame With Ash Highlights -- Don't Spoke Unless Stuck Onto -- Teen Angst Bullshit-- Come What May (Day) -- Dodge This -- The Dead Knock At Dawn -- A Gentlemenly Sacrifice -- Spade & Neutered -- Flambe By Vincent -- L.O.O.K.E.R Over -- Something in the Fog-- Polly Wants A Scalpel -- Major Swirly -- White Meat Dark Meat -- Oh Dae-su You Devil -- Unto Darkness Delivered -- A Hammock Built For Slew -- Venom Down -- Worm Turned -- This Anaconda Do Want Some -- Cereal Murdered -- Deady Dearest -- Spotted Dick -- Chinatown Syndrome -- Feeling the Fury -- Blank With the Blank in the Blank -- Kill the Cook -- You be The Steeple --Boiled Bashed Stabbed & Gassed -- Iced Princess -- Straight Razor Symphony -- Prey For Mantis -- Talos Unplugged -- A Mysterious Raptoring -- Mad Monkey Robo Rampage --Give Me Liberty, Or... -- Horns of Plenty... Dead! -- Mistress-And-Run -- Wolverine Interrupted -- Who Let The Guts Out -- Zzzapped Innards-Side-Out -- Bad Romance -- Twas Beauty (And Also Aeroplanes) -- Bad Head -- Valentine's Day Massacred -- Belly Buster -- For Being Not The Babysitter -- Splat In Slo-Mo -- To Be Dis-Continued -- For Being Mouthy -- Do You Smell What Billy's Mom Is Cooking -- The Milk Done Gone Bad -- An Inability To Stop Drop and Roll -- Bug Sprayed -- Extreme Makeover: Leatherface Edition -- Window Seat Suck -- Razor Bunting -- Stabbed Thru The Heart And Witches Are To Blame -- Shark Kibble --Is That a Straight Razor In Your Trunks Or Are You Just Happy To See Me -- Bad Dates -- Fry Guy'd -- Super Battle Bystander Shrapnel Shred -- Staring Contest of the Dead -- Satanic Self Sacrifice -- Fist and Fortune -- Psychedelic Penis Slice To Window Toss -- For Crimes Against Accent -- Sacked -- Speed Bumped For Traffic Spikes -- Shark Versus Jet-Ski -- Hot Oil Treatment -- Tucked In By Jason -- Just A Pair of Snowbodies -- Poison Pellet Kibble Swap -- Dolly Disassembled -- Fire Escape Fall Out -- Unbuggered -- Tell 'Em Large Marge Sent'cha -- Blue Man Gooped -- Tongue Stung -- Now Wouldn't Cha, Barracuda? -- Leaving on a Rat Plane -- Panthers! -- Fashion Faux-Pwned -- "It's Just A Box." -- Blasted Pigeons -- Taunting Ahnuld -- The Too Hot Tub -- Beyond the Veil -- Sunken Prayers-- Super Crack -- Brains Blown -- Fur For The Boogens -- White Hot Bunny Rabbit Rage --Dragged To Hell -- The TV Van That Dripped Blood -- Don't Mess With Mama -- Heads Ahoy --Martyred For Sheep -- Heads Nor Tails -- He Loves Me Knot -- The Great Bouncing Brad --Miss Kitty's 8 Mishaps -- Boat Smoosh -- Meeting the French-Tipped Menace -- A Magic Trick -- Slick Suck -- We Who Walk Here Walk Alone -- Raptor Bait -- Kneegasm'd -- Dare to Dream in Fincher -- Reach Out and Throttle Someone -- De-Faced -- Voluntary Drowning -- Cross Borne -- Pulled Up Hell's Sphincter -- An Arrow Up The Ass - The Numerous Violent Unbecomings of Olive Oyl -- Ack! Ack! Zap! -- Baby's First Acid Splash -- Chop, Drop and Sashimi Roll -- Forever Rafter -- Can't You Hear Me Now? -- Daisies Ways #5 - Harpoony Side Up -- Acid Dip -- On a Wing and a Prey -- For Standing in the Way of Sappho -- Busting Rule Number Three (For The Purpose of Number Two) -- Daisies #4 - Window Dressed To Killed --Hands Off the Haas Orb -- Bullet Ballet -- A Single Vacancy at the Roach Motel -- A School Bus Slipped Thru The Ice -- Trache-AAHHHH!!!-tomy'd - For Mel Gibson's Sins -- A Wide Stanced Slashing --- Daisies Ways #3 - Scratch n' Snuffed -- The Victim of a Viscous Hit & Run-- Curled -- Kabobbed -- Daisies Ways #2 - Aggravated Cementia -- Boo! Nun! -- 2009's Ways Not To Die -- Bug Scratch Fever -- Daisies Ways #1 - Deep Fat Fried in My Own Unique Blend of 500 Herbs & Spices -- By the Yard End of the Stick -- Screwed From A Very Great Distance-- A Righteous Bear-Jew Beatdown -- Fisted By Hugo Sitglitz -- Xeno Morphed -- Fuck-Stuck -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 4 -- Lava Bombed -- The Cradle Will Rock... Your Face Off!!! -- The Food of the Nilbog Goblins -- The Slugs Is Gonna Gitcha -- Phone Shark -- Hide The Carrot -- Sarlacc Snacked -- Avada Kedavra!!! -- Hooked, Lined and Sinkered -- "The Libyans!" -- Axe Me No Questions -- Pin the Chainsaw on the Prostitute -- The Wrath of the Crystal Unicorn -- The Ultimate Extreme Make-Over -- Drown In A Sink Before The Opening Credits Even Roll -- The Dog Who Knew Too Much -- Don't Die Over Spilled Milk -- Inviting the Wrath of Aguirre -- An Inconceivable Outwitting -- The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique -- Nipple Injected Blue Junk -- Your Pick Of The Deadly Six -- Thing Hungry --Don't Fuck With The Serial Killer's Daughter -- DO Forget To Add The Fabric Softener -- Any Of The Ways Depicted In This Masterpiece Of Lost Cinema -- Rode Down In The Friscalating Dusklight -- Good Morning, Sunshine! -- Mornin' Cuppa Drano -- The Cylon-Engineered Apocalypse -- Tender-Eye-zed -- Martian Atmospheric Asphyxiation -- Maimed By A Mystical Person-Cat -- The Sheets Are Not To Be Trusted -- Handicapable Face-Hacked -- I Did It For You, Faramir -- Summertime In The Park... Of A Pedophile's Mind -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 3 -- Strung Up With Festive Holiday Bulbs By Santa Claus Himself -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 2 -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 1 -- Decapitated Plucked Broiled & Sliced -- Head On A Stick! -- A Trip To The Ol' Wood-Chipper -- Pointed By The T-1000 --Sucking Face With Freddy Krueger -- A Pen-Full Of Home-Brewed Speed to The Eye --Motivational Speech, Interrupted -- A Freak Ephemera Storm -- When Ya Gotta Go... Ya Gotta Go -- Hoisted By Your Own Hand Grenade -- Having The Years Suction-Cupped Away --Criss-Cross -- Turned Into A Person-Cocoon By The Touch Of A Little Girl's Mirror Doppleganger -- Satisfying Society's "Pop Princess" Blood-Lust -- Done In By The Doggie Door-- Tuned Out -- Taking the 107th Step -- Rescuing Gretchen -- Incinerated By Lousy Dialogue-- Starred & Striped Forever -- Vivisection Via Vaginally-Minded Barbed-Wire -- Chompers (Down There) -- Run Down By M. Night Shyamalan -- Everything Up To And Including The Kitchen Toaster -- Sacrificed To Kali -- Via The Gargantuan Venom Of The Black Mamba Snake -- Turned Into An Evil Robot -- The Out-Of-Nowhere Careening Vehicle Splat -- "Oh My God... It's Dip!!!" -- Critter Balled -- Stuff'd -- A Hot-Air Balloon Ride... Straight To Hell!!!-- Puppy Betrayal -- High-Heeled By A Girlfriend Impersonator -- Flip-Top Beheaded --Because I'm Too Goddamned Beautiful To Live -- By Choosing... Poorly... -- Fried Alive Due To Baby Ingenuity -- A Good Old-Fashioned Tentacle Smothering -- Eepa! Eepa! -- Gremlins Ate My Stairlift -- An Icicle Thru The Eye -- Face Carved Off By Ghost Doctor After Lesbian Tryst With Zombie Women -- Electrocuted By Fallen Power-Lines -- A Mouthful Of Flare --Taken By The TV Lady -- Bitten By A Zombie -- Eaten By Your Mattress -- Stuffed To Splitting -- Face Stuck In Liquid Nitrogen -- Crushed By Crumbling Church Debris -- Bitten By The Jaws Of Life -- A Machete To The Crotch -- Showering With A Chain-Saw -- In A Room Filled With Razor Wire -- Pod People'd With Your Dog -- Force-Fed Art -- Skinned By A Witch -- Beaten With An Oar -- Curbed -- Cape Malfunction -- In The Corner -- Cooked In A Tanning Bed -- Diced -- Punched Through The Head -- Bugs Sucking On Your Head
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Like Destroying Something Beautiful
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A second trailer for Jake Gyllenhaal's upcoming film Demoltiion, directed by Wild and Dallas Buyers Club director Jean-Marc Vallée, has been released -- click here to see our extensively capped coverage of the first trailer from back in September -- and it's more of the same old same old "Jake's sad about his dead wife when he finds romance with a young boy" or whatever. Oh and more Jake freaking out in the shower:
And more Jake dancing!
Demolition is out in April.
Watch the trailer here:
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ETA Oh and here's the first poster!
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Great Moments In Movie Shelves #55
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Fifty-five entries in to this series and I've already cheated with it several times, stretching us out from the "Movie" portion of its title into other entertainment arenas like television and now Broadway - but what am I to do, find a picture of Billy Magnussen in just his little black briefs in front of a book-case in the play Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike that I've somehow never posted here before and not post it? Let's not be daft. (I have posted many pictures of him in that show before though, click here for our enormous NSFW post on him.) Anyway, I was looking up Billy because...
... I was reading the Fug Girls terrific recap of the first episode of American Crime Story: The People vs OJ Simpson (I do not plan on ever writing out that full title again ever in my life, good grief) and they got around to praising Billy as Kato (so so funny, indeed) and I realized that now that I have actually sat down and watched the episode (and found it kind of perfect in every way) I can post the pictures of him - hooray! Hit the jump for several more gifs...
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I Am Link
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--- War Boy - The best part of Mr. Robot - a show I like but don't think quite lives up to the hype - is Martin Wallström, the sexy psycho Scandinavian schemer, so the news that he's lining up a movie with the also-awesome Bel Powley, young star of The Diary of a Teenage Girl, is welcome indeed! It's a WWII movie about a girl escaping Stalin and a kind Soviet officer who helps her. I wonder if it will be difficult not reading him as a crazy person? I do like reading him as a crazy person. And between him and Alexander Skarsgard Bel certainly has quite the dance card!
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--- Equal Wages - After Ben Wheatley's terribly anticipated around these parts High-Rise comes out he's got that crime thriller Free Fire lined up, but after that he's apparently going to remake Henri-Georges Clouzot's 1953 film The Wages of Fear. I haven't ever seen that movie, nor have I see William Friedkin's 1977 remake called Sorcerer. (So should I see either of them?) Anyway the story is about a bunch of truckers hauling nitroglycerin over some mountains, and Wheatley's spin is the truckers are going to be female. Female! How crazy! I am being slightly sarcastic, but I am also interested in seeing Wheatley do a female-centric movie at this point since his most recent films are more like sausage fests, give or take a Sienna Miller.
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--- Equal Wages - After Ben Wheatley's terribly anticipated around these parts High-Rise comes out he's got that crime thriller Free Fire lined up, but after that he's apparently going to remake Henri-Georges Clouzot's 1953 film The Wages of Fear. I haven't ever seen that movie, nor have I see William Friedkin's 1977 remake called Sorcerer. (So should I see either of them?) Anyway the story is about a bunch of truckers hauling nitroglycerin over some mountains, and Wheatley's spin is the truckers are going to be female. Female! How crazy! I am being slightly sarcastic, but I am also interested in seeing Wheatley do a female-centric movie at this point since his most recent films are more like sausage fests, give or take a Sienna Miller.
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--- Goth Goddess - I did a random post about Winona Ryder earlier this week because she just sort of floated onto my brain from nowhere, but it turns out she was floating around everywhere because like half an hour after I did this ginormous post talking about Winona and her place in the pantheon started making the rounds. I meant to link to it earlier this week but I actually haven't had a chance to sit down and read it yet! Oh well that's never stopped me before.
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--- Run Jake Run - I'd totally forgotten that Jake Gyllenhaal was planning on starring in a movie about a survivor of the Boston Marathon Bombing that lost both of his legs, and I am not even sure if I ever knew that David Gordon green was going to direct it, but Variety's reporting that the movie, titled Stronger, has found financing so I guess they'll probably shoot it this year. My first thought is worry about Jake's Boston accent, and my second thought is "Dear lord make a good movie, David Gordon Green -- Our Brand is Crisis was such garbage, I am worried about you." (thanks Mac)
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--- Blonde Ambitions - I've been sitting on several of these links all week (don't worry, I've sat on plenty of big things in my life, I'm fine) so by now they are a wee bit stale but whatever, I wanna mention them dammit! Like how could I not mention the news that Naomi Watts has signed up to be in the new Twin Peaks episodes? Please please please let her somehow be playing Betty or Diane Selwyn from Mulholland Drive - it doesn't have to make sense how, it's Lynch.
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--- Mad Dash - Spoilers have come out about the role that Scoot McNairy is playing in Batman V Superman and it's apparently not who we thought it was -- I am over giving a shit about spoilers with this movie because they have so so much convincing to do to make me think it's not going to be a great big steaming pile of diarrhea, but if you don't want to know some, you know, shit, don't click that link. There are a couple things in the movie I'm not worried about, and Scott is one of them. (As is Holly Hunter.)
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--- Big Organs Ahead - There's lots and lots of news from my favorite directors this week - Oldboy helmer Park Chan-wook announced his maybe next film, an adaptation of the 2007 Japanese sci-fi book Genocidal Organs (now there's a title). Here's how they describe it:
He's currently working on that Fingersmith adaptation so who knows when we'll see this; anyway it's good if he takes awhile because the book has been translated into English and I have too much else to read right now, I need some time.
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--- Joe, My God - I was and still am so angry at myself for messing up my chance to see Joe Dallesandro in the (wait for it) flesh last week when he did a Q&A alongside Jane Birkin at a screening here in NYC, but I guess ya can't win 'em all. It's not as if he would've morphed into 20 year old Joe and swept me off my feet or anything. (SIGH.) Anyway here's a nice interview with him at Queerty (thanks Mac) telling how he came to work with the Warhol gang and a bunch of other interesting stories. What a life.
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--- Be Silence - Nicolas Winding Refn is working on a great big spy movie calledThe Avenging Silence, or maybe he is, he is being vague because he always is. Anyway he is definitely teaming up with two James Bond writers to write something of the sort; apparently he worked with them previously on the aborted Barbarella movie he tried to make a few years back. He will say he wants it to be a great big monied studio thing, maybe set in Japan. Yeah, we'll see, dude. He just talks to talk sometimes.
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--- And Finally two bits of news regarding Stephen King movies to come -- director Josh Boone (The Fault in Our Stars) is still trying to get The Stand off the ground (good luck, dude) but in the meantime he's going to go forward with a different King adaptation, a take on his 2014 book Revival, about a faith healer gone nutso. (Anybody read it? I've fallen behind on new King.) And the second bit -- BD has some pictures from Cell, which has been so delayed I'd forgotten all about it; it stars Samuel L. Jackson, John Cusack, Isabelle Fuhrman (hooray) and Stacy Keach. No word on when this thing will be out still, but here's one of the pictures:
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--- Blonde Ambitions - I've been sitting on several of these links all week (don't worry, I've sat on plenty of big things in my life, I'm fine) so by now they are a wee bit stale but whatever, I wanna mention them dammit! Like how could I not mention the news that Naomi Watts has signed up to be in the new Twin Peaks episodes? Please please please let her somehow be playing Betty or Diane Selwyn from Mulholland Drive - it doesn't have to make sense how, it's Lynch.
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--- Big Organs Ahead - There's lots and lots of news from my favorite directors this week - Oldboy helmer Park Chan-wook announced his maybe next film, an adaptation of the 2007 Japanese sci-fi book Genocidal Organs (now there's a title). Here's how they describe it:
"Set in a time when Sarajevo was obliterated by a homemade nuclear device, the story reflects a world inundated with genocide. An American man by the name of John Paul seems to be responsible for all of this and intelligence agent Clavis Shepherd treks across the wasteland of the world to find him and the eponymous "genocidal organ.".
He's currently working on that Fingersmith adaptation so who knows when we'll see this; anyway it's good if he takes awhile because the book has been translated into English and I have too much else to read right now, I need some time.
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--- Be Silence - Nicolas Winding Refn is working on a great big spy movie calledThe Avenging Silence, or maybe he is, he is being vague because he always is. Anyway he is definitely teaming up with two James Bond writers to write something of the sort; apparently he worked with them previously on the aborted Barbarella movie he tried to make a few years back. He will say he wants it to be a great big monied studio thing, maybe set in Japan. Yeah, we'll see, dude. He just talks to talk sometimes.
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--- And Finally two bits of news regarding Stephen King movies to come -- director Josh Boone (The Fault in Our Stars) is still trying to get The Stand off the ground (good luck, dude) but in the meantime he's going to go forward with a different King adaptation, a take on his 2014 book Revival, about a faith healer gone nutso. (Anybody read it? I've fallen behind on new King.) And the second bit -- BD has some pictures from Cell, which has been so delayed I'd forgotten all about it; it stars Samuel L. Jackson, John Cusack, Isabelle Fuhrman (hooray) and Stacy Keach. No word on when this thing will be out still, but here's one of the pictures:
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Edward Holcroft Follows in Fassy's Big Footsteps
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Actor Edward Holcroft, known for his roles in Kingsman: The Secret Service and London Spy (mmm London Spy), is in the new issue of Interview Magazine, and besides the lovely pictures there's also, you know, words alongside. So maybe you want to like read them and stuff? There is one worthwhile bit for sure though, when he's asked why he went to the Drama Centre London for acting school and he has this to say:
"Michael Fassbender and Tom Hardy had just been there. Literally, that was the reason. I didn't know much about acting, I didn't know much about the drama schools. I knew that there were sort of four or five really good schools, like RADA and LAMDA, and Drama Centre was one of them, and I didn't know how to pick because I didn't know what I wanted from each school and I didn't know what I was doing. So I just picked actors who I had seen around that time who I thought had been brilliant. I remember I had seen Fassbender in Hunger and I thought, "Where did he go to school?" I looked it up and it said Drama Centre so I said, "Right, I'm going to go there." And that was that. I turned up and then I got in."
We should all do exactly what Michael Fassbender and/or Tom Hardy do, honestly. Like, Michael Fassbender and/or Tom Hardy, they each respectively handle Michael Fassbender and/or Tom Hardy's private parts -- like every day! I want in on that racket. Ahem. As for Edward if you missed it we did a big post on him right here; and for more pictures from this Interview spread, hit the jump...
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Good Morning, Other Will Graham
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It's director Michael Mann's 63rd birthday today, so here are a few pictures of William "Bill" Petersen playing Will "Hugh Dancy" Graham in his 1986 Hannibal Lecter Original Manhunter. I run hot and cold with Mann - I do like Manhunter very much, and Last of the Mohicans, and I have a secret burrow inside my heart where I keep The Keep even though I really know it is tremendously boring. But stuff like Heat and The Insider and Collateral, I don't know, I see them for how technically proficient they are and everything, but they don't do much for me. They're so slick and masculine. BAM is holding a big retrospective of Mann's films this month and I thought about heading out there for one of them but BAM is too much travel for me if my heart ain't in it. And I'm already headed out there for their series on "Witch Films" next week, that's plenty. Anyway! William Petersen! Surprise babe, amirite?
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Five Frames From ?
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What movie is this?
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Female Troubles
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Today is Jennifer Jason Leigh's birthday, a fact we shared earlier this week with our latest round of "Beauty vs Beast" over at The Film Experience, which is facing Jenny's single psycho off against Bridget Fonda in Single White Female. Oh Single White Female, how I do love thee, in all thine glorious early 90s glory. Here watch the original trailer and revel, positively revel, in it.
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Henry Cavill Is Trying To Kill Us All
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Henry just posted this on Instagram."Warm up phase for Superman training started today! Posting this pic to set myself a minimum goal...and force myself to actually keep going haha!"
It's true what they say - Superman is a murderer.
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Gratuitous Danny Amendola
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Anyway, hi there Danny Amendola! I should probably use this here Super Bowl Weekend moment of gratuity for someone on one of the actual teams playing this weekend but I honestly have absolutely zero idea who is in the Super Bowl this weekend. I could google it, but... no. I don't care! Somebody can go ahead and tell me if there are hot guys worth checking out on the other teams in the comments, but for now, let's just hit the jump and stare at a few dozen more pictures of this hot dude right here...
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...
... you can learn from:
Halloween (1978)
Lindsey: I'm scared!Laurie: There's nothing to be scared of.Tommy: Are you sure?Laurie: [nods]Tommy:How?Laurie: I killed him...Tommy: But you can't kill the boogie man!
Dun, dun. Dun, dun. Read through that dialogue again and tell me you can't hear John Carpenter's score to end all horror movies scores pulsing in the background -- I know you do. I do! We all do! And soon enough I will be seeing the man himself -- no not The Shape, thank goodness, but the man behind The Shape -- plunking those notes out on his Casio right in front of me! John Carpenter is doing a world tour later this year to support his second album of movie music that never quite made it into his movies called Lost Themes II, and so far he's only announced one date in the US, a night in July here in New York, and wham I just scored myself a ticket! If he was only playing unknown music I wouldn't have bothered but he knows better and is promising a retrospective of all the stuff we do know, too. Kick ass!
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Flight Suits, Jazz Hands
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THR is reporting that Channing Tatum and Joseph Gordon Levitt are teaming up to star in "an R-rated musical comedy featuring two pilots on a misadventure." There's no title and no director, no nothing yet save that little log-line, but I'll be gosh-darned if I'm not having all kinds of ideas popping to mind with just that much info...
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Kick Up Your Heels...
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... just 14 days until The Witchis out!
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Alden Ehrenreich Three Times
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This world is a great big disappointment! Here we are and Alden Ehrenreich's new movie the Coen Bros'Hail Caesar! is finally out in theaters, and can I find much new Alden Ehrenreich anywhere? I cannot, no, I cannot. It's been five years since I posted my first great big Gratuitous Alden Ehrenreich post, and it's been two and a half years since I posted my second even greater even bigger Gratuitous Alden Ehrenreich post, and if you google "Alden Ehrenreich" now those same pictures are still all that you will find. Injustice!
Well except for the three here in this post that I am posting right now, but this isn't enough. (They are very large though, so click on them if you want 'em bigger.) Not enough! Will someone go to Hollywood, slowly remove a single long glove from your right hand, and slap Alden Ehrenreich's publicist silly with it, please? Unacceptable! Anyway if you guys see Hail Caesar! this weekend this is the place to tell me your thoughts. I'm seeing it tonight! I'm terribly excited!
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Tom Hardy's Taboo Bits
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Chalk me up as excited for Tom Hardy's new TV show! The Sun published these photos AND VIDEO of Tom stripping naked on camera in front of the Taboo crew, jumping in a lake, and strutting himself through the water and up and out across a field. They blur out the front bits (boo Sun boo) but there's plenty to see all the same! Watch:
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Good Morning, World
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About one month ago I directed you to the trailer for Sarah Jessica Parker's new "romantic comedy" called All Roads Lead to Rome (All Roads Lead to Rome is neither "romantic" nor a "comedy" -- discuss amongst yourselves) only to highlight the presence of our Italian boyfriend Raoul Bova. Well now that the movie's been dropped onto Demand like a pebble in a very large lake, never to leave a trace, we might as well post the eensy bit of Bava flesh it contains, before we forget it was even a thing. There's hardly more than we saw in the trailer, which was hardly anything already, but we're so thirsty for Raoul we'll post whatever; hit the jump for the rest...
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Zac Efron Body Slam
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The first trailer for Zac Efron's other other (other?) low-brow good-time comedy Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates is here - this is the one with Aubrey Plaza (the other one with Aubrey Plaza, I mean) and Anna Kendrick and Adam DeVine; it's the one with the wrestling singlets.
There, that cleared that up.
Here, watch the trailer, if you dare!
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This is out in July.
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