Jai Courtney's To Come

September 12, 2016, 1:12 pm

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If I was more patient I'd wait for full quality copies of these new photographs of Jai Courtney to reveal themselves but I think we all know where the road to my patience begins and ends (nowhere and nothing, basically). So anyway they're for a magazine called At Large but they haven't dropped the actual photo-shoot yet...

... there's just this teaser video at this link, which is where I grabbed these shots from. But they look promising! They remind me of his fur-tastic shoot for Interview, which I literally dreamt about this past weekend. Yes, that's my brain. Anyway hit the jump for the rest of the caps from the video (and I will update this post if more come in later)...
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PS more came in later.

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Today's Fanboy Delusion

September 12, 2016, 2:06 pm

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Today I'd rather be...

... unleashing the Beast.

Why oh why is there no shot in the movie that I can remember (AND I WOULD REMEMBER) that shows off how excellent everything going on with Nicholas Hoult's costume below the waist was? This is a crime, Bryan Singer! A CRIME.

Anyway long long after I have forgotten anything of substance from X-Men Apocalypse (which shouldn't be that difficult, given its relative substance-less existence) I will remember pretty much each and every frame from this behind-the-scenes blooper reel from the forthcoming blu-ray, which shows that even if it wasn't showing up on screen everybody was having a great goofy time on this set. Oh and that Nicholas Hoult wants to unleash the beast as well...

... it would seem. But I couldn't pick a favorite moment if you held a gun (or Nicholas Hoult's dick, even) to my head - is it Nicky's bulge (it's probably that) or is it him and Tye Sheridan pawing at each other's spandexed bits and pieces...

... or is it Ben Hardy's back muscles...

... or maybe this bit...?

I saw a bunch of headlines yesterday saying that there's a deleted scene from the movie that shows Apocalypse could've been a lot more fun and I haven't watched that yet but this, this video, this is clearly what we should have been watching. Just go right ahead and give us two hours of these actors hanging out in their costumes gaily goofing off next time, please.
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In summation...

Matty Amongst the Stars

September 12, 2016, 3:03 pm

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Missed this news over the weekend but Matthias Schoenaerts is going to co-star with Robert Redford and Jane Fonda in Our Souls at Night, an adaptation of a book by Kent Haruf about "a widow and widower who’ve lived next to each other for years" who start forming a relationship. The film will also co-star Judy Greer (yay Judy Greer) and Bruce Dern, and it began filming today! Anyone read the book? Fonda & Redford starred together in several movies but I guess it's been nearly 40 years since the last one. (That'd be The Electric Horseman.) And I wonder who Matthias plays? Maybe he's Robert Redford's dead husband in flashbacks? And Young Robert Redford (for all their sex scenes, ya know) will be played by CG'd Young Robert Redford? Okay I am probably taking this thing's budget to a whole new level, but my idea would sell, people.

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I Can Still See Blue Velvet Thru My Tears

September 12, 2016, 5:40 pm

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Today marks the 30th anniversary of David Lynch's film Blue Velvet screening at the Toronto Film Festival, and so if you head on over to The Film Experience I went and made a little list of little things that I love about Lynch's classic film. Here's to your fuck, David!

Good Morning, World

September 13, 2016, 7:08 am

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I'm pretty sure I've been clamoring - literally clamoring! - for a good look at Matt McGorry's bum since the first time I saw him strutting it proudly in his guard uniform on Orange is the New Black, but maybe that perception's been skewed by hindsight (heh, hindsight in this context is funny, heh) filtered through the way he's made the pushing of that thing around on How To Get Away With Murder his calling card. Anyway, point being, we have wanted that ass (or in the common parlance of the day, dat azz), and now we have it! All thanks to this little movie he made called How He Fell In Love. And yes I am gonna make you hit the jump for it...

Five Frames From ?

September 13, 2016, 7:31 am

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What movie is this?

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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

September 13, 2016, 7:53 am

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... you can learn from:

Fargo (2015)

Floyd Gerhardt: I don't know. Maybe when you look at me you see an old woman, and I am 61. I've borne six children, had three miscarriages. Two of my sons are here today. Two were stillborn. My firstborn, Elron, killed in Korea - gook sniper took off half his head. The point is don't assume, just because I'm an old woman, that my back is weak and my stomach's not strong. I make this counter because a deal is always better than war. But no mistake, we'll fight to keep what's ours to the last man. 

A very happy 65 to the fabulous Jean Smart today!

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Dornan Because You Demand It

September 13, 2016, 8:15 am

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I don't know if I ever told you guys that I tried to watch Fifty Shades of Grey one night a long time back and I couldn't finish it - I only made it about halfway through; that fucking movie is over 125 minutes long, and practically every one of them is an excruciating test of the edges of human agony, and not the sexy bondage sort of "limit pushing" that they might be thinking I mean. It's boring and ugly and too dumb to even be fun.

Anyway the trailer for the new one's here and there's approximately five seconds of Jamie Dornan flesh in it - because everybody's going to see these movies for elaborate plots and Eyes Wide Shut party masks, I guess. I did my duty and fast-forwarded through it and here, you can see here, all the Dornan you need. Don't bother otherwise, people! Don't do it! Save yourselves!

The Fall is a very good show with Gillian Anderson and Jamie Dornan in his underwear, while A Bigger Splash is a very good movie with a very good performance from Dakota Johnson plus the dicks of Matthias Schoenaerts and Ralph Fiennes! You should watch those.

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Down Under With Clive & Riccardo & Co.

September 13, 2016, 9:09 am

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This news is actually much more about the female talent involved than it is about Clive Owen -- I love Clive! But what females! -- yet I'm still illustrating it with Clive (pics via, thx Mac) because my brand. Anyway a new movie called Andorra is being made by the Aussie director Fred Schepisi (he made A Cry in the Dark and Roxanne, among others) and it's about, and I quote, "an American who settles in the tiny country of Andorra [and] meets an Australian couple and unsettles the other natives when he becomes linked to a dead body floating in the harbor." It's based on this book.

Anyway let's get to those ladies -- also in the film are Gillian Anderson & Toni Collette & Joanna Lumley! How's that for a threesome? The funny thing is that plot description reminded me of Toni Collette's 2004 film Japanese Story for some reason all on its own, and there she is. (And man have I got to re-watch Japanese Story soon, right?) Also in the film is Riccardo Scamarcio let's get a load of him:

I thought he seemed familiar and he is - he played Pasolini's boy-toy Ninetto Davoli (see lots of Ninetto Davoli at this link) in the movie with Willem Dafoe; he was also in an episode of London Spy, IMDb says, as "Doppelganger" but I can't remember that. But god what a head of hair...

... among other attributes, obviously. 

Do Dump or Marry: Diurnal Animals

September 13, 2016, 9:26 am

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Admittedly "diurnal" is an awful-sounding word but it is the opposite of "Nocturnal" and since that new picture (via; click to embiggen) of Tom Ford & Jake Gyllenhaal & Michael Shannon on the set of Nocturnal Animals was actually taken in the daytime... oh, you get it. Whatever. My point is you should tell me in the comments which out those three you'd Do just the one time, which of those three you'd Dump in a dumpster, and which of those three you'd Marry like forever and ever, no divorces allowed. So do that, and just stop side-eyeing my word choices please. It's unbecoming.

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Death By Fassbender

September 13, 2016, 12:04 pm

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Several new pictures of Michael Fassbender in Assassin's Creed have surfaced today - you can check them all out over here. They're very assassiny, whatever that means. Appropriately, given Michael's physique, I've trimmed the fat from the shots as you see them here; if you click over you'll see there's more to them but why look at a white background and/or Marion Cotillard when you've got Michael Fassbender shirtless in front of you? For real, though.

I Feel Like Making You Stare At Piper Laurie

September 13, 2016, 4:00 pm

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I was trying to think of an image to leave you all with for a few days (I'm heading off-blog until next week to visit family slash friends) - perhaps some hot hunka love or something something that'd keep y'all coming back for more? But I've been re-watching Twin Peaks this week (hence the banner) and I'm feeling mighty piperlaurieish down in my personal parts because of it (it burns) so I had to go with Vintage Her. She'll keep you feeling veddy vivacious until I get back. Bye!

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Up With Animals

September 20, 2016, 12:20 pm

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Hello, folks! I am (sort of) back, and I hope you haven't forgotten about me. I know it's been nearly a week and this being 2016 a week is basically several lifetimes and all, but I didn't forget about you. 

Whoever the hell you are. Is that good enough of a re-introduction? Sorry I'm not feeling especially clever today - indeed I don't plan on blogging much more than this, but we should probably be back up to speed by tomorrow. For now why don't you just enjoy these pictures...

... (via) of Jake and Aaron and Michael and Tom and then Jake some more, and then some more for good measure or whatever. Can I just say that even typing on a keyboard right now feels weird? I didn't type on a keyboard for five days, which has got to be an insane record in the history of something.

Am I still talking?

Five Frames From ?

September 20, 2016, 1:59 pm

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What movie is this?

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Back That Boomerang Up

September 20, 2016, 3:01 pm

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I don't know where this picture originated but that it exists is plenty (click to embiggen) since Suicide Squad itself didn't give up the goods  -- here's a second shot of Jai Courtney's Captain Boomerang in his boxer shorts in his jail cell in a scene only skimmed by in the movie proper, the bastard people. See the first shot back here. I share this as my goodbye for the evening - hopefully I can pull my shit together a bit better tomorrow; I'm really not feeling myself today. (Jai I am feeling though.)

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Good Morning, World

September 21, 2016, 7:10 am

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Hey! It's morning, and I am here, and Scoot McNairy is with us, and it's all good. These shots from this past week's episode of Halt and Catch Fire would've gone up last week after it aired, but, you know, I failed you all.

My bad. But better to Scoot late than Scott never, that's what I say. Anyway I hope you're all watching Halt this season, its inexplicably-existing third season (I did not think it would be renewed since none of you have been watching it), it is typically tee-riffic. It makes me wanna dance around in my boxer shorts it's so damned good, it does. Take it, Scoot...

Five Frames From ?

September 21, 2016, 8:01 am

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What movie is this?

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Mark Ruffalo's Dick Will Save The Day

September 21, 2016, 8:11 am

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This video is too important for me to just share on my Facebook timeline where I've long ago driven everybody away that disagrees with me politically -- I must share it here and alienate those who are left! But seriously, Joss Whedon wrote and directed this get-out-the-vote video and it's very funny and full of famous people and I hate to murder the big joke but it involves Mark Ruffalo's dick, so watch it. Dick, people. Dick. Right of the aisle, left of the aisle - we can all agree on dick.

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ETA And here's a behind-the-scenes picture of Joss & Mark shooting their bit of the video which I am including just because it feels good to be back on Team Ruffalo (he's proven himself one of the sane Bernie bros, thankfully) and he's looking great all salt-n-peppered out. This is via Buzzfeed where they also chatted with Joss about the project, so check out the interview too.

Today's Fanboy Delusion

September 21, 2016, 8:37 am

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Today I'd rather be...

... dropping my scrubs with Glen Powell.

So my DVR messed up last night and didn't record the first episode of the second season of Scream Queens, much to my major chagrin, so I missed the premiere. So nobody say nothing! These shots are from the teaser for the rest of the season, which you can watch below; it also involves John Stamos in the shower but Stamos has never done much for me. Glen Powell on the other hand, especially as Chad Radwell, well he does rad things, rad things well, he does. 

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And John Stamos gave an interview this past week (thx Mac) where he talks about his storyline with Glen and, well, Ryan Murphy is doing right by us, it seems.

"I’m in a story line for two episodes right now where we’re in love, Chad Radwell (played by Glen Powell) and Brock Holt. In fact, we did a pretty dramatic shower scene the other day. It’s just outrageous.... ’ve really never done this kind of thing and I feel like Farrah Fawcett or Raquel Welch when they posed nude in Playboy, like “I’m gonna show my body!”… Although I’m standing next to Glen Powell, who’s like a God. So we had a scene in the shower room and then they just wrote it in! ... That Chad Radwell is a pretty good-looking dude… Because I’ve seen Chad Radwell naked."

James Marsden, Naked Extra

September 21, 2016, 9:02 am

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Taking a week off's gotten me super behind on The Things That Matter, like the fact that James Marsden is on the cover of the new issue of GQ (thx Mac) working a suit like only he can, and also saying in the attached interview that he apparently turned down a small role in none other than Magic Mike, you guys...

"Soderbergh is one of my favorites, but I didn’t know if I trusted myself to be good enough in this to not have my two dozen lines end up on the editing-room floor. I’d look like a naked extra in this movie. It’s perfect the way it worked out, but that’s one of the only ones I’m like, Hmm. I didn’t know it was gonna be the massive success that it was.”

Well fuck you, James Marsden -- too good to be "a naked extra" -- see if I ever talk to you again. (I will talk to you if you talk to me, James Marsden, I am all lies - I will talk to you!!!) Also happening earlier this week -- him and a shirtless James Wolk apparently raced each other in some charity race. Where are the rest of the pictures??? How is this picture via Wolk's Instagram the only picture I can find? Stupid charities.

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