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Quote of the Day

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"I've been waiting almost a year to see this film. Saw it tonight. What-the-huh? Camera movement, compositions, lighting, action sequences--a compendium of art house cliches. Okay, five brilliant minutes here, five brilliant minutes there, but, overall, meh. Where is Pauline Kael when we need her. This is just the sort of pomposity she feeded on.

... It is a critical phenomenon I call "buying stock ". Critics and viewers consciously or unconsciously purchase shares in an artist's work. "I have ten thousand shares of Tarantino.""Fifty thousand shares of Star Wars." Etcetera. Once a viewer has purchased stock in an artist he/she becomes committed to that stock valuation. I first noticed this when Peter Bogdonavich purchased a massive holding in Howard Hawks and was then thrust into the awkward position of defending "Man's Favorite Sport". I watched as cinephiles have purchased stock in DePalma, Carpenter, the Coen Bros to the point that they are no longer objectively assessing the work but instead defending their investment. The latest is Hiseau Hisean Ho [sic] and the assumption by stock holders that it it must be a masterpiece because he worked on it for eight years."

That's Taxi Driver and Raging Bull writer (and director of The Canyons!) Paul Schrader on his Facebook wall taking on the critical consensus over The Assassin and director Hsiao Hsien Hou (whose name he totally butchers) -- for the record, I wrote kind of the exact same thing in my review of the film, which I just didn't get the excitement about either. An interminable film.


Jamie Bell Four Times

Great Moments In Movie Shelves #53

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I know, I know, Agent Carterisn't a "Movie" 
like the title of this post promises, but...
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... you guys...
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... I cannot resist...
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... hidden rooms behind bookshelves! 
I can't and I won't!
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I love this show so much.
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Channing Bears the Sailor Surge

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Only one week until the Coens' new film Hail Caesar! is out and it's earned that exclamation point - I couldn't be more excited about it, not even if Channing Tatum and his sailor friends were promising back-alley gang-bangs with the purchase of every ticket! (Untruth. I would be more excited by that.) The Playlist has a few new images and a clip from the movie, but it's all Clooney & Brolin and nothing's going to be better than the last Alden Ehrenreich infused trailer so I didn't bother watching.


Which is Hotter?

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After all the ups and downs and ins and outs of production Natalie Portman's Western Jane Got a Gun is finally out in theaters today, a fact even I, who'd been following the hullabaloo pretty closely given the players that came and went (bye bye Michael Fassbender), had completely missed until just this minute. I haven't read any reviews, I have no idea if it's any good or not, and looking at my schedule I probably won't make it this weekend. But if you see it let me know! And also you should totally vote on this poll, too:

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And not to color anybody's votes but as I looked up images for this post I found this clip from the film, which is chock-full of Joel being hella rustic hot, so hit the jump for some gifs from it...



I do love a man in loosened suspenders.
It's the teenage NKOTB fan in me.

We All Went A Little Mad Sometimes

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There still hasn't been a definitive fictionalization of the Charles Manson story, probably because it's one of those cases where the terrifying non-fiction trumps the fakery. But people keep trying ,and if anybody's gonna take a stab at it then it might as well be the incredibly talented two-some who gave us American Psycho - director Mary Harron and screenwriter Genevieve Turner have adapted the book The Long Prison Journey of Leslie van Houten: Life Beyond the Cult, which is actually not about the 1969 murders or even as far as I can tell about Manson himself, not directly anyway - it's about the friendships between a grad student and three of the "Manson Girls," and her process in helping to de-brainwash them. This sounds like a much more interesting angle, doesn't it?

Of course my second thought, after "Yay Mary Harron!" was to wonder if John Waters is a character in the book - he's been friends with "Manson Girl" Leslie van Houten for a very long time and has spoken at length about how he believes she's been rehabilitated and how she should be released. I'm more interested in who'd play him than in who'd play Charlie Manson, honestly. (thanks Mac)
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The Finest Bana

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There's been a criminal lack of attention given to the fact that Eric Bana is The Finest Hours out this weekend -- if they'd worked on reminding me that there was "New Bana In A Uniform" to be had I'd have been paying way more attention. No all those trailers show is footage of a boat going up a wave - footage that makes me do a double take every time, thinking I've stepped through a time portal and it's the year 2000 and The Perfect Storm is suddenly new again. Nobody needs that! Give me Bana or give me nothing, nothing at all, or Eric Bana wearing nothing at all, that's what I always say.


Good Morning, World

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Instagram has made these "Good Morning, World" posts so much easier, you guys -- Alex Pettyfer might feel the need to clot up these images with inspirational poetry captions, but we know what you're doing, Alex. And we don't mind. Just do it, my friend. Just do it. Your abs are all the inspiration I need.



Five Frames From ?

Shooting Channing Tatum's Seaman

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Finally, this is one of the things I've been waiting for almost as hard as I've been waiting for the actual release of the Coens' new film Hail Caesar! this Friday -- a behind-the-scenes glimpse of Channing Tatum doing his sailor-boy tap routine! Watch:
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Today's Fanboy Delusion

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Today I'd rather be...

... huddling with Ryan Reynolds.

Well it's nice to see a Super Bowl commercial aimed at an atypical demographic -- this just dropped Hyundai ad, which will air during the game on Sunday (it is Sunday right? I have no idea), is set in a town called "Ryanville" where everybody looks like Ryan.

So basically the sexier less-psychotic version of Being John Malkovich - in that vein I'm glad they didn't put Ryan's face onto a female body or a baby's body and instead stayed with the sexiness, dropping him into half a Village People worth of manly man costumes. Construction worker, check! Policeman, check!
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

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... you can learn from:

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Ellie: Aren't you going to give me a little credit?
Peter: What for?
Ellie: I proved once and for all that the limb
is mightier than the thumb.
Peter: Why didn't you take off all your clothes?
You could have stopped forty cars.
Ellie: Well I'll remember that when we need forty cars.

Clark Gable was born 115 years ago this day.
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Lust in the Dust

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There are moments of sweep and moments of grandeur and some of the most beautiful shots Werner Herzog's ever filmed in his Gertrude Bell bio-pic Queen of the Desert, but the script is straight-up camel chow. My guess is Herzog wanted to spend some time in the desert and was able to get funding for a movie with Nicole Kidman and James Franco and used them as a framework on which to hang the chance to chill with Bedouins while Nicole was in her trailer having her hair elaborately tousled several hours each day. 

That's not to rag on Nic - she's fine in the film, but tasked with an irritating script that's intent on filtering all of Bell's world-changing achievements through her romantic entanglements. Ladies love love, you guys! Yeah, this is perfectly offensive stuff. But sometimes the camera floats down a cavernous stream only to suddenly shoot up up into the heavens, ricocheting off the rock walls as if carried off by a fit of steady-cammed Parkour, and you feel what Herzog wants you to feel - the rapture of location, location, location. And what locations, old-fashioned and grand.

Plus Herzog's humor wends its way through the movie in unexpected bursts, especially whenever a delightfully posh Robert Pattinson shows up as T.E. Lawrence (aka of Arabia), carrying his desert robes as if they were designed by Bob Mackie - if there's any queen in this desert, tis he. (A cock in a frock on a rock - check, check, and check.) There's an adorable scene halfway through the movie where Lawrence asks Bell to beard for him to get the local ladies off his case; his sweet whispers of "Gertie" are a smile. 

Unfortunately this gives the film the effect of feeling sometimes like a waiting game for Pattinson to show up and perk things up, when really this film ought to feel like a gendered correction to the Great Masculine Epics of Yore, like Lawrence of Arabia. Bell herself remains opaque, a romantic mirage out of an old movie, her heart tangled up in their false-seeming tropes and never entirely approaching a genuine, or even one of Herzog's ecstatic, truths. This woman, an epic unto herself, is bigger than this.
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Today's Mood

Tovey Man Down

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Dunno how I missed this picture that Russell Tovey shared on Instagram two weeks ago, but I have this "news story" that Page Six is reporting (via DListed) to thank for getting me to look:

"…a male audience member, in the onstage seating section at the Lyceum Theatre [for a performance of A View From The Bridge], fainted at the sight of actor Russell Tovey as he took off his shirt. The patron passed out in the middle of a scene with Tovey and co-stars Phoebe Fox and Mark Strong. Early Sunday, Tovey received a tweet from the faint-hearted audience member apologizing if he “disturbed the performance.” Tovey’s washboard abs can be seen onstage eight times a week. Just remember to breathe deeply. "
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We Approve of this Behavior

Pic of the Day

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This is incredibly random (heaven forbid) but I'd never seen this Esquire cover until Esquire themselves posted a picture of Halle Berry wearing some sort of negligee with this cover emblazoned upon it, and I find this cover too delightful to not share. I do love me some vintage Burt Reynolds. I'm gonna have to go scour eBay and find one to have for my own, I just love it too much.
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Look At This Spectacular Spectacular Thing!

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Ahhhh they have finally made the Golden Girls Bible! Now we can worship the real and true gods appropriately. Golden Girls Forever: An Unauthorized Look Behind the Lanai is out in April and it's nearly 400 pages of pictures, interviews, trivia -- everything multiplied by everything! Note to everyone I know: expect this for your birthday, your anniversary, your Christmas and/or Hanukkah, and then expect it for every one after that for the rest of your life. By the time I'm don you'll be able to build a life-size lanai of your own out of all the copies of this book!
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Still Everything...

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... I wanna be when I don't grow up.
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Shoe Do You Think You Are

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