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Good Morning, Gratuitous Ebon Moss-Bachrach

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Ebon Moss-Bachrach plays such a convincing douchebro on Girls - he's Marnie's new musician-husband - that it's been very difficult, for me, to come to terms with the hotness buried under that thick layer of douche. But they've spent the last season and a half whittling away at my moral outrage with shirtless scene after shirtless scene, and then this week, they flung a full-frontal...

... (literally!) assault on my final vestiges of decency. Fine, Ebon Moss-Bachrach. Fine! You win! Here's your goddamned post. Hit the jump for several dozen pictures (with some bonus Andrew Rannells... and Allison Williams? Dammit Marnie)...








































Five Frames From ?,

Pics of the Day

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I am obsessed, OBSESSED, with that picture of Greta Gerwig. My favorite actress as a grunge twink! Yes please. It's from V Magazine where they've assembled an entire alphabet of famous(ish) folks, from A to G(reta Gerwig) to Z. In between there are a few cute boys like Xavier Dolan and Alex Pettyfer, as seen below. (Also the picture of Gabourey Sidibe is awesome, you gotta check that one out.)


5 Off My Head - Fargo La Femme

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In case you were wondering why this week's banner was All About The Margie, now you know -- today is the 20th anniversary of Fargo! The film got a limited release on March 8th 1996, and it went wide a few weeks later -- since I was in college in upstate New York at the time I probably didn't see it until some time in April, but I actually have an incredibly vivid memory of seeing the film (which is surprising because my memory is usually riddled with holes). 

It was my very first visit to The Little, the first-class art-house theater in Rochester, New York, and I saw the movie with this guy Chris, who was a good friend of my then boyfriend. (Hi Chris where ever you are!) Anyway I ended up working at the Little for my last couple of years of college, so my love for that particular small-city institution was born right here and right there by the Coens. Not hard to buy, right?

I particularly remember the "This Is A True Story" title-card contrasted against the "This is a work of fiction..." during the end-credits striking me at the time -- I'd never seen that sort of purposeful tweaking of the "truth" before, and it felt weirdly like a violation? It felt transgressive enough, to my still-developing cineaste's brain, to leave a mark anyway.

Coincidentally today also happens to be International Women's Day, and since Fargo has one of the greatest lead female characters of all time (heck Marge Gunderson as delivered by Frances McDormand is one of the greatest female characters of all time, lead or supporting) I figured I'd focus in on the women in the film for today's celebration. There actually aren't a lot! In fact there are five, unless I'm missing somebody. So here, a list of...

 The Five Female Characters In Fargo!

1. Okay I am cheating right off the bat, counting the two hookers as one, but they're such a tag-team I think you'll forgive me. They do everything together: Fuck, Watch Carson, Appreciate Da Bears. They finish each other's sentences and thoughts, even. I mean clearly he was just kind of funny-looking, since these two agree.

2. By far the largest female role in the film besides McDormand, I think Kristin Rudrüd is this movie's unsung secret weapon. Poor Jean Lundegaard, surrounding by dopes and assholes and dopey assholes, entirely unaware of the fact until it's way way way way too late. She puts up a good fight when she can, at least. But what happens to Jean smarts because of how clear Rudrüd makes it that this perfectly nice lady didn't have any of this coming.

3. I love this waitress so much. I know that she's considered one of the film's so-called "punchlines" that people cite when they want to make arguments about the Coens being mean to their characters and judgmental of this place, but that just strikes me as snobbery - she's perfect; the Midwest distilled to a side-nod.

4. The wife of the guy who's getting "true-coat" forced upon him at Jerry's car-dealership really makes this scene work - her silent exasperation set against her husband's increasing verbal exasperation is the Laurel to his Hardy. She makes everything ten times funnier with her sighing and nodding.

5. Yup, yet another prostitute! (I'm sure the think-pieces about this movie's high hooker percentage has already been written somewhere on the internet.) But jeez does this lady milk her lopsided expressions for all they're worth. My favorite bit of dialogue from this scene is when Buscemi asks her if she likes escorting and her goofy agreeableness melts away and she's all, "What are you talkin' about?"

BONUS: I considered counting "Linda Cooksey," the woman that Mike Yanagita supposedly stalked, but we never do get to see Linda. Still - MIKE YANAGITA!!!
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Today's Fanboy Delusion

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Today I'd rather be...

... hosing down Zac Efron.

I'm sure you've all been kept awake the past few nights wondering why I hadn't been posting hourly updates with all the pictures of Zac Efron romping around greased up like a Thanksgiving turkey on the set of Baywatch this week -- truth be told 1) I'm a little bit Efron'd out, and 2) I don't know what happened between his time on the set of Dirty Grandpa and now but he's gotten too big or something?

I've seen this complaint several places across the 'net since these pictures dropped, and I'm on Team Too Big. I'm certainly willing to extend him the benefit of the doubt and believe that this is For The Role a la Anna Faris in The House Bunny - he's clearly going to be playing a beach meathead in this movie. Plus if I was standing next to The Rock I'd go a little psycho about the gym too, I s'pose.

But I'm finding it tough being attracted to someone I wouldn't be able to grab on to because my hands would slide right off of them, causing me to fall on the floor if I tried to make a move. It's like a hot dog dipped in honey. It's too much, Zac!


Stick 'Em Up, Groff

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Back in December we heard that David Fincher was adapting for Netflix the true-crime book called Mind Hunter: Inside the FBI’s Elite Serial Crime Unit, which tells the tale of the first FBI serial killer profiler and his team - this dude inspired the character of Jack Crawford from the Hannibal Lecter books (slash movies slash awesome fucking television series). We thought at the time that Charlize Theron was starring in it, but it seems that she's just producing? Anyway now the first actor has gotten cast, and it's the adorable fella attached to those armpits above, Mr. Jonathan Groff!

Thing is, just as with that first bit of news where we were confused about Theron's role, now the news is vague as well - we don't know who Groff's playing, if it's FBI agent or serial killer, or what. Honestly I could see him as either (which is part of why we love him). But we'll keep our eyes and ears and other holes open for whatever Groff wants to give us.
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A Hologram Grows in Tribeca

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Last week we got very very excited when the first half of the Tribeca Film Festival was announced and they're screening High-Rise, Ben Wheatly's super-anticipated new flick with Tom Hiddleston (and Little Tom Hiddleston), and today they announced the second half of their line-up and wham, another super-duper's striking me square in the face: Tom Tykwer's new film A Hologram For the King, starring Tom Hanks and Ben Whishaw, is having its world premiere at the fest! See our previous post on the movie here; it's based on a Dave Eggers book, and will mark Tykwer's first solo film since his good-time ménage à trois romp called 3 back in 2010 (he co-directed Cloud Atlas with the Wachowskis).

Anyway the Playlist shares the full list of new Tribeca titles right here - there are a couple horror films showing in the fest's Midnight section; the anthology called Holidays could be fun...

... and they're showing that James Franco gay porn murder joint) but I feel as if they've been tightening up that portion of the festival over the past couple of years? The plethora of genre flicks showing was one of the things that made TFF stand apar, at least as of a couple of years ago, but the selection's begun to seem semi-anemic. I suppose that means I can see them all this time around, at least.

The other film that I'm most enthuastic about that was announced is Maurizio Cattelan: Be Right Back, a documentary about one of my favorite artists. Any fans of his work? He's crazy (very crazy) good.


You're Locked In Here With Me

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It's no doubt been said before that Matthias Schoenaerts is built like a brick shithouse, and rightfully so, but Disorder, his new flick from French director Alice Winocour, turns that colloquialism on its head, literally -- his great big head is a great big house, and we're stuck inside it, slapping at the walls alongside him and his crazypants.

Matthias plays Vincent, a recently back-from-action soldier suffering from what can only be called "episodes" - he's hallucinating things and having strange bleeding fits. While he waits to see if he's ousted from service he takes on some private security work, and with him we wander onto the grounds and through the labyrinthine corridors of the gussied up version of that aforementioned brick shithouse - it's only eventually, as the soundscape pulses and drags us down into the depths of his mindset that we realize we're sharing his hallucination, one paranoid schizo step at a time.

Unfortunately for her and her son, there's other folks stuck in there too - Jessie (Diane Kruger) and her son Ali are his wards, but for a good long while we're not quite sure if he's the one protecting them or the hulking menace in the shadows itself. They say that the enemy of your enemy is your friend, but remove the center and watch the suspicion bloom. When you can't tell the difference between the sounds of explosions and bird-song, there's a problem.

This is the best Schoenaerts has been since Bullhead probably, wound up in knots and tossed into a familial scene like an explosive - his eyeballs themselves seem to sweat as he twitches over his charges. His paranoia consumes all and Wincour's camera swirls around them, stretching the tension well past bearable up to something kind of exquisite.
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Good Morning, Chunky Bum

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I've never heard of the 2012 movie Revenge For Jolly! until right this second, but you better believe it's on my radar after seeing this scene from it of Oscar Isaac and his surprisingly chunky bum -- any movie that know well enough to give the latter full due is firing on the correct cylinders. 

When I used this week's "Beauty vs Beast" contest for Ex Machina, Oscar's most recent hit that doesn't rhyme with Car Floors, I didn'tm even realize he'd be celebrating his 37th birthday today. It's a happy coincidence! Head over to TFE to vote if you haven't yet. Oscar Isaac's fallen behind!

Did I say Oscar Isaac's behind?

I'm never gonna get tired of that.
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Full Medal Jack It

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Missed this -- over the weekend they released another new trailer forThe Bronze, the gymnastic comedy starring Melissa Rauch as a former Olympian gone to seed who gets pulled into coaching and Sebastian Stan as a competitor vying for the same trainee; why do we care? Because it's the very first trailer out of the several they've released -- see here and here -- that gives us a glimpse of the already infamous sex scene, as seen above. I have indeed already seen this movie and while you wait for me to review it (it comes out on March 18th) you should be reminded of what I tweeted when I came out of the theater:
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That'll make more sense when you see the movie.
Anyway here's the full new trailer:
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Five Frames From ?

More Like Shirt-Busters Amirite

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Because internationally they hate women even more than we do here in the United States -- and we sure do hate women here in the United States, so that's a whole bunch! -- the international version of the new Ghostbusters movie, which stars you know, women, features a whole heckuva lot of Chris Hemsworth in it! Way more than that first US trailer did. I ain't really complaining because heck, I like to look at Chris Hemsworth, but I do feel as if this trailer might be pushing him a little hard. 

Did I just say something about "pushing Chris Hemsworth hard"? 
Ahem. Okay I gotta go now. Here's the trailer.
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And after the jump a few more Hemsworth gifs...





Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

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... you can learn from:

Cosmopolis (2012)

Didi:So how many billions together
do you two represent?
Eric:She's a poet.
Didi:Is that what she is?
I thought she was a Shifrin.
Eric: Little of both.
Didi: So rich and crisp.
Does she let you touch her personal parts?
Eric: You look gorgeous today. For someone who's 41
and finally understands what her problem is.
Didi: What's that? 
Eric: Life is... too contemporary.
Didi: So how old is your consort? Nevermind,
I don't wanna know. You'd tell me to shut up.
Oh, one more question. Is she good in bed?
Is she good in the limo?
Eric: I don't know yet.
Didi: Aww, that's the trouble will old money.

A very happy 52nd birthday to La Binoche!!
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Cox On The Boards

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I guess I am now an avid follower of the work of the playwright Nick Payne (or at least the work of whomever's doing the casting for the work of the playwright Nick Payne) because I am about to see a second show of his in as many years! Last year it was his play Constellations, which starred Jake Gyllenhaal (ahem) and Ruth Wilson, and which Jake aside was very very good! A happy surprise since I was only there for Jake. 

And now comes word that Mr. Payne's new play called Incognito will feature you-guessed-it Charlie Cox in the lead! It took me all of fifteen seconds to buy a ticket. The show will co-star Heather Lind, who funnily enough has a Jake Gyllenhaal connection - she plays the Dead Wife in his upcoming movie Demolition. Living the goddamned dream, that one. Here's what the show is about:

"The new work from Payne... follows a pathologist who steals the brain of Albert Einstein; a neuropsychologist who embarks on her first romance with another woman; and a seizure patient who forgets everything but how much he loves his girlfriend. Incognito braids these mysterious stories into one breathtaking whole that asks whether memory and identity are nothing but illusions."
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Between A Woody and a Rockwell

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If you head over to The Film Experience I just dove into today's exciting casting news regarding Martin McDonagh's new movie - yes the one that already has Frances McDormand in the lead role, rendering it Already Beyond Awesome on the strength of that alone. But these two fellas ain't nothing to sneeze at! (Unless by "sneeze" you mean something sexual, in which case... okay sure?) (But that would be weird -- why would you use the word "sneeze" as something sexual? What the hell is wrong with you?) (Weirdo.)


Good Morning, World

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RIP to East of Edenactor Richard Davalos, who played James Dean's brother in the film, and gave us this the second gayest screen-test that James Dean was ever involved in. (The first gayest being the one of Dean & Paul Newman flirting, of course.)

We've posted this video a couple of times before but we've never giffed the good bits, so let's do that this morning in Davalos' honor. Hit the jump for the video itself alongside all the brotherly wrasslin' and huggin' and what not that you can handle...






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Ben Whishaw Ten Times

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

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... you can learn from:

Catwoman (2004)

Laurel Hedare: I was everything they wanted me to be. 
I was never more beautiful. Never more powerful. 
And then I turned 40 and they threw me away. 

 And now you're turning 58, Sharon Stone.
Do you guys think she'll ever get her comeback?
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Wham Bam Spider-Man

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No sooner had I clicked "purchase" on my tickets to see the new Captain America movie (they just went on sale a minute ago) then did I see they've also just released a new trailer for the film and as you can see there - it's Spider-Man! Our very first look at Tom Holland (or, you know, a Tom Holland shaped CG blob) is here! Here's the trailer:
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Seeing Spider-Man is exciting, don't get me wrong, as is the little glimpse of Ant-Man running around, and Black Panther's looking fairly kick-ass too, but it's this shot...

... that's got my panties all bunched up. 
Why is Scarlet Witch melting The Vision???
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