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Gratuitous Juliano Cazarré
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Bruce Springsteen One Time
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Anarchy in the USS Enterprise
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Quote of the Week
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"Nobody sends a bad dick pic. There’s always likea full photo shoot, like a four-hour photo shoot with filters."
I think that, as I head out to this weekend here, leaving you with the image of Chris Evans taking pictures of his dick for four hours straight is probably the greatest gift I can give anyone, ever, in history, or ever. So leave you with that quote (which comes via a podcast interview with Anna Faris, of all places) I shall.
Have a happy weekend, perverts!
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Good Morning, World
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I usually try to restrict these morning posts to folks doing morning-related things but I really just wanna jump on this (literally) first thing this morning -- over the weekend the MTV Movie Awards aired and Alexander Skarsgard came out onto the stage to present something or other...
... without any pants on. And as if the presence of his tighty-whities wasn't enough (and honestly, it was) he's gone and given an entire new generation of folks a sock garter fetish to deal with. If you're looking for something to invest in this morning, I recommend sock garters! Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures...
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Five Frames From ?
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What movie is this?
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There Will Be Radiohead
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I feel kind of bad spreading this news since it was clearly not supposed to get out and clearly they wanted to surprise and delight us, but I'm so tired of every day for the past few months passing without the new Radiohead album dropping (it's been "imminent" for at least that long) that I can't quite muster the energy to be resolute -- word's gotten out that Paul Thomas Anderson has directed the first video for their new album. Wheeeee!!!
A comedian dropped the news on a podcast (that has since been deleted because she'd signed a nondisclosure, whoops) that Anderson and the band used her house for the filming. I wish that we knew WHEN this filming happened - if it was two days ago then we've probably got a bit to wait; if it was a month ago, probably less. Anderson's been connected to the band for awhile, seeing that Jonny Greenwood has scored his last two films. Anyway this is something rather exciting for our future, folks!
A comedian dropped the news on a podcast (that has since been deleted because she'd signed a nondisclosure, whoops) that Anderson and the band used her house for the filming. I wish that we knew WHEN this filming happened - if it was two days ago then we've probably got a bit to wait; if it was a month ago, probably less. Anderson's been connected to the band for awhile, seeing that Jonny Greenwood has scored his last two films. Anyway this is something rather exciting for our future, folks!
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Today's Mood
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...
... you can learn from:
Children of Men (2006)
Patric: This never fucking happened,so don't go telling tales 'cause we'll be watching you.At work, when you sleep, when you have a piss,we'll be watching. All the *fucking* time.Theodore: Jeez, your breath stinks.Patric: No, it doesn't.Theodore: Yes, it does.
That is Charlie's worst look, right?
Ugh, I need a palate cleaner...
Ahhh much better. Anyway Charlie's birthday was over the weekend and we could hardly let it go without comment, seeing as how he's been a big obsession of ours ever since the original Queer as Folk showed us gay living way back when. I was just now surprised to realize that he's a couple years younger than me - I thought we were the same age, but I guess I'd convinced myself of that so I didn't feel pervy lusting after him on that show. Whatever, we were close enough. It's perfectly fine foe a 21 year old to lust after a 19 year old, so stop judging me.
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In related news I'd forgotten to post that, the first trailer (of sorts) for his next film, James Gray's The Lost City of Z (based on the best selling adventure book) so there that is. I was actually pretty surprised by the tone when I saw it - I was expecting something more Indiana Jones but I suppose that was silly of me to expect from gray, a man who never met a shade of mud he didn't adore. That sounds way snarkier than I intend - I look forward to this!
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Im Cabaret, Au Cabaret, To Cabaret
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I should probably re-watch the movie Cabaret some time soon, having just read Joel Grey's autobiography recently -- it'll be interesting to see the film through the lens of Grey's stories from behind the scenes (like picturing Ruth Gordon in his role the whole time!) Anyway today is Mr. Emcee's birthday so if you head over to The Film Experience I'm forcing you to choose "Beauty vs Beast" style between him and Liza -- I have a bad feeling I might cause a lot of homosexuals to pull out their hair and/or throw themselves off of a bridge over this, and for that I apologize.
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Colin Farrell Is The Wizard of Sex
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Colin Farrell...
... has cast a Hardening Charm...
... in my pants.
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Tom Wlaschiha Seven Times
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His eyes, his eyes, my kingdom for his eyes. Then give me another kingdom so I can give it up for his lips. So on, so forth. (Click here to see lots of previously posted pictures of Mr. "Man Who's Last Name I Still Have No Idea How To Pronounce.") Anyway so happy to see the German actor get some face-time (I said "face" cuz he's a "Faceless Man" ha ha, god I am a nerd) in the new trailer for the sixth season of A Game of Thrones -- I do wish that one of Arya's lessons in The House of the Black and White, where Jaqen H'ghar reigns, was how to cut hair though, because god I hate his wig. Here's the trailer:
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Pic of the Day
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So I really meant to write a review of Karyn Kusama's new thriller The Invitation this afternoon but a headache of epic, horrific proportions stormed in right about that time and clouded me up so bad I haven't gotten a word down -- anyway as you can see above I attended a screening of the film last night which was followed by a mighty entertaining Q&A with Kusama and lead actress (as much as anyone's a lead in the deep ensemble film) Tammy Blanchard. Anyway I promise I will write that up the second my brain stops throbbing because it is a movie, a might might good movie, on which I want to write. So stay tuned(and maybe go ahead and watch the movie yourselves, since it's on demand already) and have a good headache-free night, folks.
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Good Morning, World
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This morning we're wishing a very happy 45th birthday to Buffy the Vampire Slayer star Nicholas Brendon, aka the human, Xandery portion of the Scoobs, aka the ex Mr. Anya. (Oh, Anya.) I don't watch Criminal Minds so I didn't know he was on Criminal Minds for several years but seeing that on his filmography made me glad that he's had at least one steady job post-Buffy -- all you ever hear is about his problems with substance abuse (his showdown with Dr. Phil!)
These gifs are from some 2006 TV movie called Relative Chaos, about a family reunion that doubles as some sort of crazy family competition or something, I don't know and please don't make me describe the plot any more than that.Anyway don't you feel as if it's time for a Buffy reunion? I feel like it's time (past time) for a Buffy reunion. You guys aren't busy. Even Joss isn't busy, for god's sake.
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...
... you can learn from:
Byzantium (2012)
Eleanor: Once upon a time, I was born. It is still a fact that the day you are born is the day you are most likely to be murdered. More human souls are killed by mothers' hands, than by the hands of strangers. My mother tried to murder me, but love confounded her.
Happy 22, Saoirse Ronan!
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You Cannot Deny The Invitation
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Have you ever had that feeling, you know the one, you've got a moderately priced (not cheap, but not gaga) bottle of wine clutched in your fist, your dress shirt is cutting off the circulation to your neck, and you're standing outside the door to a party. You have rung the bell, or knocked. You can hear people inside talking, then you can hear them react to the sound of your ring and/or knock. Inside your head you can see your host, probably your host but depending on how well everyone knows each other it could be just another guest like you, sweeping towards the other side of the door - more than seeing them inside your head you can feel their presence, like a phantom, drawing near. You can feel their hand grasp onto the knob, there's a click, and quickly manifest your best, biggest, brightest smile. This is it.
Light - whatever kind will set the mood for the night; if it's too bright you'll be uncomfortable, but it's not, this time it's warm and rich and inviting - comes around the side of the door before your host does. But then there they, there he or she is, and your smile works - they smile in return. You both say something, something like "Hey" probably, usually capped with an exclamation point.
Space begins to constrict, to fold into itself, like the throat of an accordion - time, too. It's like that moment at the top of the big hill of a roller-coaster or a log flume - build build build and crash, down, you're off. In a couple of hours you'll look back at the blur and try to remember what you said or what you did; lives will crash together and change course maybe, or pie will be eaten. Something.
But first, that greeting. The greeting is still happening. We're in slow motion now. What do we do? We lean forward. Closer, closer still. Something touches. Hands? Does the bottle of not-cheap wine get shoved awkwardly across the threshold first, a lightly aggressive rebuttal of closeness?
They, the other person, are leaning in. They have met us halfway. Their mouth has pinched together, lips tight, puckered. They're so close now you can smell them, their perfume or shampoo, the fish they've been handling as appetizers. Their cheek is turned. They lean still. Your body isn't under your own control in this moment. You are doing what the other person is doing, a subconscious dance. Your eyes turn away from each other, towards other things - you can see beyond them, into the space, the other people, some furtively staring, others also looking away; this moment is too much for us.
The Invitation is a horror movie about people hugging you at parties. People you know, people you don't, either sort with equal but expansive horror. Manners and niceties weaponized. The things we can't say in polite circumstances, over an expensive bottle of booze or twelve, fennel or beet salad, a corkscrew spinning and spinning beside a stone mantel-place. Why are we here? Why is anyone here? We're here because they always save the dessert for the ending, and sweetness is its own reward. Just don't choke.
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Five Frames From ?
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What movie is this?
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In the Land of Gay Porn Stars
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I have been off-blog for the past couple of hours hammering out my schedule for the Tribeca Film Festival (which officially opens its doors tomorrow) when lo behold the very first clip from one of the very movies I am seeing, the gay porn and murder bio-pic King Cobra starring Garrett Clayton (seen above), Christian Slater, and James Franco, has appeared. So here's that!
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Great Moments In Movie Shelves #66
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I didn't much talk about performances in my review of Karyn Kusama's new thriller The Invitationearlier today, but if I had you'd have heard me express some surprise that Logan Marshall-Green - who's never left much of an impression on me save being very attractive - is actually very good in the film. Very good.
Anyway seeing him still always makes me think of Ridley Scott's film Prometheus - in which he is very attractive but leaves little impression - and from there I remembered the scene where we see Charlize Theron's library...
... and how all of her books are turned backwards!
What the living fuck is that all about anyway?
I suppose it's meant to be a "profound" statement about her character's rejection of actual qualitative knowledge for more superficial concerns? But really it just makes me root for a giant metal doughnut to roll over her, which thankfully totally happens. You had it coming, book turner.
PS - Happy National Library Workers Day!
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Good Morning, Philadelphia
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How is it even possible that It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia has been on for fourteen, yes fourteen, seasons? Isn't that insane? That is insane. I am starting to wonder if it could run like Simpsons numbers -- this past year was just as funny as anything they've put out, riffing on these godawful people in new astonishingly cringe-inducing ways. Dennis and Dee and Mac and Dennis and Frank are The Beatles of our age. Anyway a happy 40th birthday to Glenn Howerton today! I never capped this scene from this season's funniest episode - the one where Mac and Dennis move to the suburbs - so hit the jump for all the Dennis butt you can handle (and I don't know about you but I can handle a lot of Dennis butt)...
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