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He's a Barbie Boy

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The internet is coming for me hard today! (Word choice.) I just spent an hour making gifs out of Lee Pace's naked Foundation fight scene, and here suddenly the second I'm done there's a "Just Ken" trailer cut for Barbie, chockfull of Ryan Gosling and the other assorted Kens (Simu!) from Greta Gerwig's film being hot and gay-ish. 

(thx Mac) Well I'm sorry I don't have it in me to spend another hour giffing today so you'll just have to make do with watching the video. The movie's out in a week and a half, you can go watch the movie on the big screen and see...

... all of the sights writ two stories tall, baby!
For now, just enlarge this and pretend:


Barbie drops on July 21st! be there or be... just be there.



Here a Pit There a Pit

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If Twitter does collapse the thing that will make me the saddest will be the loss of the several ongoing threads I have there that get updated a lot. So much gratuitous content possibly lost unto the ether! So this is just a reminder that while you still can you should make sure to check out our thread devoted to 2023 The Year of Armpits, which I keep getting the opportunity to update like twice a day. When I started it I really didn't think it would be this constant, but once you start looking for armpits it turns out armpits are everywhere! And I ain't mad.

Good Morning, World

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For a lack of having anything else to post, or the energy to go digging any further, here is a photo of the famous composer Leonard Bernstein brushing his teeth back in the day that I saw somebody share somewhere a couple of days ago. (Too many social media networks now -- who knows where it came from.) (As an aside I have created both Bluesky and Threads accounts in the past week or so -- not that I have used them a ton just yet -- and you can find links to them over in the right-hand column, or here at MNPP's Linktree.) Anyway speaking of Lenny -- I saw somebody say somewhere (this was probably Twitter) that it would make sense for Maestro, Bradley Cooper's biopic of him, to premiere at NYFF this fall, since Bernstein's history is so interwoven with that of Lincoln Center, which is where that festival happens. Makes sense to me! Let's just hope that we get some proper Bradley-on-Bomer action. Or the pitchforks will be out, Cooper! I'm already annoyed he stole the role from Jake.

Five Frames From ?

Timothy Olyphant Five Times

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Are fans of Timothy Olyphant called "Oly-fans"? They certainly should be. And I say that as an Oly-fan myself, so I have a say in the matter. Anyway we Oly-fans should be happy right now because Tim's got two projects on the immediate horizon -- there are new episodes of Justified coming (although here's where I admit I'm a bad Oly-fan because I never watched Justified) and, even more interesting to me, there is Steven Soderbergh's series Full Circle. It's about a botched kidnapping in current-day NYC and the investigation into it yadda yadda, here is the trailer:



The first two episodes of that premiere on max tomorrow! And then two-episodes every Wednesday for the two weeks after, making it a six-hour thing. "Miniseries" used to be the word but I guess "limited series" is where we are these days. Whatever. It's got Claire Danes and Tim and CCH Pounder and Zazie Beetz and William Sadler -- always love William Sadler! A couple episodes premiered at Tribeca but they never sent me screeners so I'll be watching it like the rest of you -- I did hear good things though. Anyway due to all of this content Timothy Olyphant was interviewed by the NYT, which you can read here. Or if you just want the pictures hit the jump...




Problemista Child

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I wasn't really familiar with Julio Torres when I sat down to watch Problemista at NewFest last month -- I vaguely knew he'd written for SNL and that he was the brains behind that Los Espookys show, but I'd never seen that show and I have only watched maybe five episodes of SNL in the past ten years. (Although I had seen Torres' most infamous SNL skit "Wells for Boys" of course -- I'm not an ingrate.) So point being -- I was going to see Problemista for Tilda Swinton. Ninety minutes later Torres had gained a great big new homosexual fan -- this will easily be one of the best and funniest films of 2023, and one I plan on re-watching so many times I can quote it top to bottom. It's hysterical, incredible, forthwith iconic. And we now have a trailer!



Mark your calendars -- the MNPP-approved Problemista
is out in cinema theaters on August the 4th.

Today's Fanboy Delusion

The Father, The Son, and the Holy Gyllenhaal

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These here are obviously ancient photos of Jake Gyllenhaal (from 2001 to be precise) but they'll have to do because we done used up every photo ever taken of him at this point, and also this news itself is ancient news, getting an update. In 2016 I first told you that Jake was going to star in an HBO miniseries adaptation of Jo Nesbø's book The Son for his Prisoners and Enemy director Denis Villenueve. And then in 2020 I updated that news, saying ta-dah, twas on the calendar again. Well perhaps this will be lucky post number three and it will actually happen this time, because it's being reported that Villenueve is planning on shooting the damned thing finally, really for real they say, this very fall (thx Mac).

Of course with Villenueve's sequel to Dune coming out in November I have to admit I have no idea where he'd find the time -- especially now that there's word that Dune 2 is a middle-chapter and there will be a third movie. But perhaps ol' Denis really needs to wedge in a Dune-break for himself, and for that I wouldn't blame him. I guess we'll see. I don't know how you shoot an entire miniseries in like, two weeks -- one imagines it would take some time, and it seems like he will have a lot of responsibility selling Part 2 globally and such over this fall. Whatever. I got to post these pictures of Jake. We all win. All that said it also feels like Jake might be too old for the lead role in this book, which is about "a promising wrestler" who tries to unravel a mystery surrounding his father's suicide. Maybe Jake will play the father now? Cue Daddy commentary.



Good Morning, World

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I'm about a vocal opponent of the season called Summer as there exists in this world, but even I gotta say -- if we have to suffer through this swamp-hell stretch of months then they way to do it is probably the way Jason Momoa does it. Being hot, most likely day-drunk, and swimming with sharks, I mean. It's the only route!

Five Frames From ?

Zane Phillips Six Times

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This neon bleached photoshoot of Fire Island and Glamorous hunka beef slash actor Zane Phillips seems perfectly timed to the current Barbie moment -- he would've made a perfect Ken right? Maybe even a little too perfect -- there wouldn't have been any of the comic dissonance that Greta Gerwig seemed to be going for with her slightly-off castings of the role. He just really is a Ken doll, period! Anyway the costuming and lighting is giving me some hard flashbacks to my college days circa Y2K -- I saw this exact dude at every rave I went to in 1999. (This dude never saw me though, never knew I was alive, which is why I am the rage-fueled succubus who stands before you today.) Hit the jump for the photos...





Good Morning, World

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What better way to celebrate another spin round the sun with our favorite whip-snapping wise-cracking archeologist-cum-space-jockey than by posting for probably the ten thousandth time this photo of him rocking some blue jockeys that leave very little inner space to the imagination? I can remember  the first time I saw these photos of Harrison -- and here's a post that gathers up the best of them -- and how surprised I was, given he's only ever been 90% naked on-screen  one time in one movie (here in Frantic) I truly expected more staid bathing attire from the man. But then I have never been able to decide if this photo specifically is a speedo or a pair of underwear?


Whatever the case -- he posed for the picture, no matter how irritable his demeanor. That's why we love the irascible dude! Anyway a happy 81 to him today -- we can also celebrate by clicking here to read my review of the latest Indiana Jones movie (which is fine, so better than I anticipated) or by clicking here to read my thorough treatise upon why his hottest on-screen set of minutes, in his long estimable career, were the ones where he went evil in Temple of Doom. I am a very serious person with very serious things to say!

Five Frames From ?

We Are All The Bear

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With the heat and with my birthday about to strike in two days my brain has been elsewhere this week -- where I don't know; if you find it send it back this way. Anyway focusing has not been my friend -- I'm usually a bit sloppy the week before my birthday. It makes me anxious, even though I truly honestly believe that caring about growing older is the lamest behavior in the world. I welcome old age! I have been looking forward to being an old man since I was five-years-old. Point being -- and yes I apparently have one -- I haven't had a whole lot to say this week on here. But I thought of a thing that maybe you will find interesting and worth a comment! I watched the first season of The Bear!


Yeah if you follow me on the social media places you know that already. But if you don't, now you do. Know I watched the first season of The Bear, I mean. And yes, I did indeed like it. I have not started the second season yet, because now that I'm caught up the boyfriend and I will have to start watching it together and that takes coordination. And see above, with regards to my ability to coordinate shit this week. But anyway if we've got some Bear fans here in the house I finally care about your opinions about the show! So share some in the comments. I will start with what I believe is a controversial thought (and this is a thought I am stealing from my boyfriend but he kept saying it until I too believed it): Marcus is a annoying fucking character who spends all of his time off dilly-dallying on frosting while everybody else is working themselves ragged. Dude needs to step it up!

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

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 ... you can learn from:


Kayla
: Growing up can be
a little bit scary and weird.

It's hard to believe that it's been five years, but Bo Burnham's wonderful coming-of-age film Eighth Grade did indeed hit theaters five years ago today. Have you watched it lately? And has anybody checked on Bo to see if he's gone outside yet?


Afire to Fantasia & Beyond

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Did that photo of British actor Langston Uibel grab your attention? I hope so, it was meant to, for a couple of reasons. First and best there is the fact that Uibel is one of the leads of Afire, the new movie from Christian Petzold (Barbara, Phoenix, Transit), which is out in theaters tomorrow. (Here in NYC there is a preview screening tonight at the IFC Center with the great Mr. Petzold there in person.) Click here to look for where the film might be playing near you, and click here to read my review of the film from when it screened at Tribeca last month. The movie is fantastic, truly. Oh and I previously posted the trailer right here.  

Another reason why I was trying to grab your attention is I'm off now for the three-day-weekend. Do I mention that it's a three-day-weekend containing my birthday? Sure why not -- my birthday is Saturday. Shower me with affection. (Or even better go donate some funds to MNPP's coffers to keep us afloat, how about that.) I plan on doing a lot of nothing. Oh I am going to see Call Me By Your Name on the big screen for the 20-something-th time tomorrow! 

There is that! Oh and one last other thing -- one week from today I am going to fly to the Fantasia Film Festival in Montreal, Canada, for the first time. I've been covering the fest for many years now from afar -- this will be my first time there, in the flesh, and I am very excited. (Also nervous about pandemic stuff -- since COVID isn't over! -- but dealing.) Anyway that means next week will be another three day week, and the week after will be a two-day one, but we'll get to that when we get to it. Just a heads-up. But do check out the Fantasia Fest line-up to get an idea of all the wondrous stuff I'll be talking about soon! And please have a great weekend. Celebrating my birthday, however you see fit. 

Good Morning, World

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Hard to believe that this is my first time posting any of soccer star Jack Grealish here on the site -- he's certainly someone whose "career" (i.e. photographs of him being hot) I have been following for some time now. Indeed I don't watch soccer nor do I watch that TV show about soccer Ted Lasso, but I'm pretty sure that Grealish was the inspiration, at least visually, for Phil Dunster's character right? And I have posted plenty of Dunster so it's kinda the same thing. Except, well, not really, because...

... look at Jack! Look at him! I could write a thousand page dissertation on his calves alone. Actually you know what, just hit the jump and look at these new photos properly, because what they demand is a good looking...








Five Frames From ?

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

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... you can learn from:

Flan Kittredge: This is what I dreamt. I didn't dream, so much as realize this. I feel so close to the paintings. I'm not just selling, like, pieces of meat. I remembered why I loved paintings in the first place, what got me into this. I thought... dreamt... remembered... how easy it is for a painter to lose a painting. He paints and paints, works on a canvas for months, and then, one day, he loses it. Loses the structure, loses the sense of it. You lose the painting. I remembered asking my kids' second-grade teacher: 'Why are all your students geniuses? Look at the first grade - blotches of green and black. The third grade - camouflage. But your grade, the second grade, Matisses, every one. You've made my child a Matisse. Let me study with you. Let me into the second grade. What is your secret?''I don't have any secret. I just know when to take their drawings away from them.''I dreamt of colour. I dreamt of our son's pink shirt. I dreamt of pinks and yellows. And the new Van Gogh the Museum of Modern Art got. And the Irises that sold for $53.5 million. And, wishing a Van Gogh was mine, I looked at my English hand-lasted shoes, and thought of Van Gogh's tragic shoes, and remembered me as I was-a painter losing a painting.'

I talk often about how Stockard Channing's performance in this film is one of my all-time favorites, and yet I don't give nearly enough lip service to how spectacularly good Donald Sutherland -- who is celebrating his 88th birthday today -- is opposite her. He's the control to her chaos, the control to her chaos, and we like, we like. In all seriousness Sutherland is one of the greatest living actors we have and he hasn't gotten nearly enough praise for it, so take a moment out of your day to praise him. A gold-star MNPP fave!

This October Criterion is Coming For Your Souls!

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Since the 15th fell on the weekend (which we all noticed since it was my birthday and all, wink nudge wink) we're only getting our monthly "Criterion Announcement Day" today, here on the 17th -- but that's cool, given they're announcing their titles for the greatest month of them all, October! And per usual Criterion's line-up is bubbling and brewing over with Horror Titles, hooray! And what better place to start then with some of the scariest movies of all time -- a triple-feature of Tod Browning's films The Unknown (1927) and Freaks (1932) and The Mystic (1925)! I've only ever seen the first two titles there -- and lord knows I have seen Freaks more times than I could count -- but The Mystic (about what else carnies) sounds like a must-watch! And the disc is per usual loaded with special-features -- check em all out and pre-order the disc on their site. (And it's out on October 17th, which will give you plenty of time to frame your entire Halloween party around it.) 

Next up and just as exciting -- they're releasing a brand new 4K restoration of Alejandro Amenábar's 2001 haunted masterpiece The Others starring Nicole Kidman! This remains one of my favorite of all ghost movies, and it's not ruined in the slightest by knowing what "the twist" is going in (not that I will spoil it here if any of you are unaware) -- I've seen it a dozen times and it's just as much spooky fun either way. And this is definitely a Top 5 Kidman performance. Cannot wait to see what this gothic gorgeousness looks like in resplendent 4K!

Next up is Nikyatu Jusu's 2022 horror flick Nanny, which is about a Senegalese immigrant who takes a job caring for the children of rich white people (Michelle Monaghan and Morgan Spector, drool) and things do not go well, no they do not go well at all. I liked this movie but didn't quite love it the way a lot of other critics did, but I think it's very much due for a revisit. And no I am not just saying that so I can stare at Morgan Spector some more, shut up. The final two titles on Criterion's October docket are both 4K upgrades for previously released editions -- David Cronenberg's Videodrome and Nicolas Roeg's Don't Look Now. Both absolute masterpieces! Will I be able to stay strong my self-imposed financial limitation of not buying movies on 4K if I already own them on blu-ray? Stay tuned! I have my doubts!


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