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Who Wore It Best?

May 5, 2017, 11:51 am
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Right on the heels of sending Darren Criss to stand around in public in the world's skimpiest red speedoAmerican Crime Story (and so on) show-runner Ryan Murphy went and signed up for Instagram, and that above picture is the first he shared -- and it's news that Max Greenfield has joined the cast. No word on who he's playing. But seeing as how Max is an old pro in the "running around in public in a red speedo for a television show" department (he had to do it for The Mindy Show previously) it only seems right to ask...

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Murphy's also posted the first look at a monster mask that will be used in the next season of American Horror Story - you know, the one that's supposed to be set during the 2016 Election and include people actually playing Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton... sigh - and you'll want to get a look at that. It is the stuff of nightmares.
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The Mad Case of the Face Fuzzed Male Stripper

May 5, 2017, 12:57 pm
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If you've seen the first trailer for Rough Night, Scarlett Johansson's upcoming ensemble comedy with Kate McKinnon, Jillian Bell, Ilana Glazer and Zoë Kravitz, then you know the gist -- it's Very Bad Things plus Weekend At Bernie's multiplied by Bachelorette. A bunch of bad-acting humans being of the female kind accidentally murder a stripper and then lug his corpse around for both tomfoolery and shenanigans, perhaps not in that order. Well a new trailer dropped today and it's showing off more of the tomfoolery and the shenanigans (perhaps not in that order) but there's one quick blip that really caught my eye...

I don't think I am going blind but hey anything's possible, I do turn 40 in a couple of months and I have done a lot of drugs in my life. Anyway you tell me if I'm nuts or not -- the dude high-kickin' in that powder blue thong has his face blurred out right? That's not just a case of movement blurring things - his face is actually intentionally obscured? Here I zoomed in a little:

How strange! It's a mystery! I'm pretty sure that's not the stripper we see buy it, because that stripper's wearing jeans when he buys it, and (I've got my Sherlock cap on) he's got a pierced nipple...

(Sidenote: this whole ridiculous post was worth it just to make that gif of Jillian Bell leap-frogging on that man) Anyway Blurred Man and Stripper Man appear to have pretty different bodies, to my trained eye. So who is the Blurred Guy? And why is he blurred? Looking through the cast list my guess is that's...

... Colton Haynes (who we see in the trailer dressed as a cop) in the thong. There's no way Colton Haynes is playing a real cop. Colton Haynes is a Stripper Cop if ever there was a Stripper Cop. And that looks like Colton's body type to me. So are there multiple strippers? And why would they blur Colton Haynes' face??? Whatever the answer is at this point I clearly have spent too much time thinking about this - I'm treating this Thong Footage like it's the Zapruder film for fuck's sake; Colton Haynes' Bulge On The Grassy Knoll! So I have to stop. Here's the trailer. Y'all figure it out yourselves. 
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Rough Night is out on June 16th.
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Pics of the Day

May 5, 2017, 1:25 pm
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Angels in America is too important (and prickly and uncomfortable, for that matter) a work of art to be reduced to just an opportunity to ogle the actors acting therein (although I sure have worked hard at it with Patrick Wilson in the film version, over and over and over again) and so I share these pictures of Andrew Garfield and Russell Tovey and James McArdle in the London production in the spirit of... you know, Art. 

I mean what else do you want me to say - it's not like anybody's flying me to London to go see the show, so these pictures (you can see a lot more over here) and a few reviews are all I've got. Okay okay that's not entirely true -- I'm going to see the show when it's broadcast live here in the US in July. Until then these pictures will keep me warm like Magical Mormon Underpants.


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All You Need is The Lovers

May 5, 2017, 3:00 pm
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There's plenty enough going on of the delightful sort in The Lovers to let it stand on its own strong two feet - I don't want this to sound as if the movie's a desolate crater rescued by this one thing - but my goodness does the orchestral score to this movie buoy the whole thing along on a golden cloud of romance and magic. It comes in right at the start, a full sweep of beautiful sound, and it's fairly unrelenting - I could see in another situation finding the music to be too much. But here, set against the half-drab home furnishings by Pier 1 Imports and the generic suburban office settings, some spice of the aural sort is just what the doctor ordered. It turns doldrums into high drama, and sudden hal-smiles into works of art.

The Lovers is a work of art - a comically devastating small-scale tale of love lost and won and lost and won and lost. Debra Winger and Tracy Letts play Mary and Michael, a married couple who've been living in the same boring house and the same boring lives together for so long that they don't even remember the other exists. Whenever they take accidentally stumble into the other it's with a "Oh you're still here? What the hell for?" cock-eyed glare.

Mary has a boyfriend named Robert (Aiden Gillen) and Michael has a girlfriend named Lucy (Melora Walters), and they're both on the verge of making it official - breaking up the marriage and making full-time out of their respective side-piece part-time passions. And then, one day, a swirl of romantic music sweeps through, and all of a sudden...

Everybody's just grand in this movie. Winger and Letts make a comic feast of middle-aged sadness and confusion, and Gillen and Walters are fine exasperated foils. It's a romantic comedy of the most unexpected sort, dredged up from real seeming passions and life-questions - The Lovers is honest, and sexy, and goofy, and true, and it sounds like a million bucks making sweet sweet love.
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I've Got A Finger For You, Chris Pratt

May 5, 2017, 3:30 pm
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So it's weird that I haven't even bought a ticket for Guardians of the Galaxy 2 yet right? I've blogged about it a bunch and I enjoyed the first movie a bunch so it's not as if the interest's not there -- I have just been so burned out with movies post-Tribeca that I need a little recuperation, mentally, before I can voluntarily submit myself to the theatrical experience again. I might get the shakes like a Vietnam vet or something. Anyway I might go see it Sunday, or I might just wait until next week, but if y'all want to let me know your thoughts on the film - non-spoilery, please! - in the comments feel free. 

Have a good weekend!
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Good Morning, World

May 8, 2017, 7:10 am
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This week's second episode of American Gods was even better than the pilot (which was already strange and wonderful itself), I thought, and not just because Ricky Whittle had a long scene showcasing... well,  Ricky Whittle. Even though we're just two episodes in I've been thinking a lot about why this show's working for me while Legion (a similarly flashy crowded show) did not... 

See, Legion remained vague incoherent to me; its big showstopping numbers were always exciting but nothing felt connected to anything else and I could never suss out the reasons why Noah Hawley was making some of the choices he was making in building that world. A show about schizophrenia maybe doesn't actually have to feel so schizophrenic. (I have hopes for the second season though.)

American Gods, on the other hand, even though it veers wildly between bizarre Godly landscapes, everything even at this early point feels of the same world. The story might not make sense yet (especially to those unfamiliar with the book) but you can sense where its leading. The storytellers don't feel overwhelmed by the story. Anyway that's just my quick two cents - to thank you for indulging my pre-caffeinated ramblings hit the jump for several more gifs of Ricky Whittle being Ricky Whittle...










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Five Frames From ?

May 8, 2017, 7:55 am
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Which Is Hotter?

May 8, 2017, 9:50 am
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Today is the 54th birthday of the great Michel Gondry, the man most responsible for turning toilet paper tubes and chalk into unbridled romance - it's been two years since his last film, the seriously underrated coming-of-age buddy comedy Microbe & Gasoline came out -- as far as I know he hasn't announced what he's working on but I'd love for somebody to tell me otherwise. He did put out an adorable commercial for FedEx last month though:
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Anyway Gondry gets a lifetime pass for me for whatever he does thanks to Eternal Sunshine but he has had an admittedly not-great few years, Microbe excepted - I downright hated The We and the I, his film set aboard a city bus full of grating characters, and reactions to projects like Mood Indigo and The Science of Sleep have been mixed. But it's those last two I want to laser in on, specifically their lovely male leads Gael Garcia Bernal (more here) and Romain Duris (more here)...


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I See the Gianni in Him

May 8, 2017, 10:15 am
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I wish I had more of those pictures of Darren Criss wearing a speedo on the set to share today but we'll just have to make do with confirmation that Edgar Ramirez really is, at least visually, an excellent and inspired pick to play Gianni Versace. Don't ya think?
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

May 8, 2017, 12:01 pm
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,,, you can learn from:

Top Hat (1935)

Jerry: Are you afraid of thunder?
Dale: Oh, no. It's just the noise.
Jerry: You know what thunder is, don't you?
Dale: Of course. It's something about the air.
Jerry: No, no. When a clumsy cloud from here meets a fluffy little cloud from there, he billows towards her. She scurries away and he scuds right up to her. She cries a little and there you have you showers. He comforts her. They spark. That's the lightning. They kiss. Thunder. 

My boyfriend gets so angry if you throw the "Ginger Rogers had to do everything Fred Astaire did only backwards and in heels" line at him -- he's an avowed Astaire fanatic and his counter-argument is that Astaire choreographed both of their moves, from cheek to cheek to cheek to cheek. 

Anyway I personally don't particularly care either way (I do like Top Hat very much y'all know me and musicals) but if you head on over to The Film Experience you can show where your own loyalties lie because I've "Beauty vs Beast"ed Fred vs. Ginger for y'all today.

Go Vote!
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What Do You Think...

May 8, 2017, 12:15 pm
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... Richard Madden whispered 
in Jeremy Irvine's ear? (via)
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Today's Fanboy Delusion

May 8, 2017, 1:10 pm
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Today I'd rather be...

... taking in Michael Fassbender's worm.

He set himself up for that one. 
Here's the full video:
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 What a ham.
(thx Mac)

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Hot Fievel

May 8, 2017, 1:58 pm
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Downton Abbey actress Lily James appears to be choosing her movie roles the same way I would choose my movie roles if I was a Hot Young Actress - by which Hot Young Actors I'd get to romp around with on-screen, of course. These pictures are of Michael Huisman on the set of Guernsey (see more here), which sees Lily romancing both him and Glen Powell (see him here). And of course James can currently be seen romancing Jai Courtney (and his floppy little friend) in The Exception... the nerve of this woman! Snatching them all up for herself. (Yes I am just jealous. I mean obviously.)


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Good Morning, World

May 9, 2017, 7:15 am
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I don't even need to look back through our extensive Chris Zylka Archives to know I've posted some images from these scenes of Gregg Araki's Kaboom before, surely I have at some point, but I know it was before I got good at making gifs, so the gifs'll be new. Anyway Chris is turning 32 today and he's still sexing up The Leftovers low-key like (he looked great in hisuniform recently, but Justin Theroux clearly has some diva-like demands written into his contract about him getting sexualized the hardest) so we wish him a nice one. (And PS I am two episodes behind on The Leftovers right now so no spoilers please.) (And PPS where the fuck is Gregg Araki right now?) Hit the jump for more from Kaboom...





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Five Frames From ?

May 9, 2017, 7:47 am
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Hell in the Harbour

May 9, 2017, 8:48 am
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I think we can all agree that David Harbour is awesome. He's been one of "those guys" for over a decade now -- when Jack Twist eye-fucked him across that table while Anna Faris prattled on obliviously I knew twas love but it was three years later in Revolutionary Road where he really took control; he was the best thing in a movie where Kate Winslet was very very good indeed. I actually like that movie more than most and I thought Leo was very good too, and Michael Shannon of course. But Harbour was best in show. It's been a slow build for him since he's not typical Movie Star material, but Stranger Things finally gave him the role where people learned his name, and now...

I think we can all agree that the director Neil Marshall is awesome. His D trilogy in the Aughts - Dog Soldiers, The Descent, and Doomsday - were all to varying degrees big-time kicks in the pants; The Descent especially but I unreservedly adore the other two as well. I mean would we have gotten Mad Max Fury Road if Neil hadn't kept the flame alive with Doomsday? I'd love a double-feature. Marshall bizarrely hasn't directed a feature since he directed Michael Fassbender in the okay Centurion in 2010 but he's been no slouch - he's been turning in series-best installments of Game of Thrones and Hannibal on TV.

So those two? Those two are awesome. But last night's news that the two of them are teaming up to reboot the Hellboy series... well it's not so much a "but." It's more like a... long pause... long pause... I don't don't how to react. Another long pause. 

Cuz the thing is, to be honest I don't entirely adore the original Hellboy movies. While this is still a highly esteemed place to be they're among the lower rungs of my Guillermo Del Toro loves. But Del Toro did some of his best monster designs ever in them...

... and Ron Perlman... well David Harbour must have king-sized - like painfully call-the-doctor-quick sized - nuts to walk into that role when the fans of those movies are still clamoring for more Perlman. Physically I think Harbour could do it. He's a big dude, with a big presence. And I am dying for Marshall to make another movie. This just kind of feels as if they're wading into a mine field.

What do you guys think? 
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4 Off My Head: Siri Says 1928

May 9, 2017, 9:57 am
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After last week's easy breezy take on the movies of 1990 I was due for a tougher pick this week when Siri answered my "Pick a number between 1 and 100" query, and she set about a stumper -- she told me "28" and so we've got to choose our favorite Movies of 1928. Indeed after some scouring I could only make a proper list of 4 (it's a very good four, mind you) but there's a post-script to that and there are several movies I want to see but still haven't... all that said let's get to it...

My 4 Favorite Movies of 1928

(dir. Carl Theodor Dreyer)
-- released on October 25th 1928 --

(dir. King Vidor)
-- released on March 3rd 1928 --

(dir. Charles Reisner & Buster Keaton)
-- released on May 20th 1928 --

(dir. Jean Epstein)
-- released on October 5th 1928 --

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Runners-up: Okay so I am pretty certain that I seen all three of the silent films that Alfred Hitchcock directed in 1928 - Champagne, Easy Virtue, and The Farmer's Wife - at some point, but that point would've been back in college and I'll be damned if I recall much of anything about them. I've been meaning to go back and re-familiarize myself with his early stuff.

The same goes for Sergei Eisenstein's film October: Ten Days That Shook the World - we definitely watched that in film school but it's just a blur of Soviet imagery to me now. 

And Then there's The River starring the dreamy Charles Farrell - I've seen scenes from it (him swimming naked in the titular river is unmissable) but the majority of the film is lost.

It would've been a cheat to include any of these movies on my "Favorites" list just to get the number up to five when in truth the four films that I did choose I remember well, have seen more than once, and like very much.

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Never seen: The Man Who Laughs (dir. Paul Leni), The Wedding March (dir. Erich von Stroheim), Our Dancing Daughters (dir. Harry Beaumont), Beau Sabreur (dir. Waters), The Circus (dir. Chaplin )

What are your favorite movies of 1928?
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"Shhh. Mommy's watching Annie."

May 9, 2017, 11:49 am
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"Come on. Lick Mommy's feet. 
Get them all wet!"

Serial Mom is out on blu-ray today, you guys!!!

There's a fun new chat with John Waters
right over here that you should read:

"I always wanted to do Serial Mom as a TV series where she killed once a month and it dealt with political correctness the 3 weeks before each murder. I think it would make a good series. Maybe Kathleen could come back -
we could call it Serial Grandmom."
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Guardians 2 in 150 Words or Less

May 9, 2017, 12:45 pm
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Several days after a superhero juggernaut's been out juggernauting it seems pointless chucking my wee voice into the din, but what the hey - Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 just ain't that good, folks. It's an often stark (heh get it like Tony) disappointment that often totally forgets what made the first one work -- heck I'd prefer the patriarchy-wrangling meta-gibberish of Ang Lee's Hulk movie with Nick Nolte dissolving into storm-grating to the answers Gunn & Co give us about Peter Quill's daddy problems. There are little bubbles of oxygenated soda pop life that dot Galaxy's bloated space-scape -- sing a song of weird creature segues and Elizabeth Debicki - but the movie overplays its hand and turns nearly all its once charming quirks into limp dicks and crutches. (Sidenote: I have a new title of my autobiography.) Anyway I found it fairly exhausting.
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Chris Pratt Twelve Times

May 9, 2017, 1:21 pm
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I feel the need to make it up to Chris Pratt for the meh review of Guardians that I just posted so here, we'll share his recent photo-shoot for Men's Fitness, because we wouldn't want Chris Pratt - that poor cum-guttered millionaire married to Anna Faris that is called Chris Pratt - to feel down in the dumps because of words some rando asshole on the internet typed while simultaneously eating a stale Cadbury Creme Egg. Hit the jump for 11 more...







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